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Old, New, Borrowed, and Blue
The East Coast Wrestling Association started its fall season off last
Saturday with a few old faces, a few new ones, a couple of borrowed spots,
and left a few people feeling…well, “blue” might not be
the right word- but work with the analogy, OK?
On paper, the card looked to be the least promising ECWA lineup in quite
some time, but Jim Kettner’s known for making the most out of the
least. With over 37 years of experience, Kettner at this point could probably
get 350 people excited over someone eating a bowl of cereal in the middle
of the ring. Thankfully, it didn’t have to come to that last Saturday.
After one of the easiest drives down to Delaware in ages, the Clothesline
Crew met up with Nick, who was ON TIME for the pre-show festivities at
Season’s Pizza and Restaurant. Miracles do happen! That was even
more apparent when, after at least three years of early dinners at Season’s,
the Crew finally found a decent thing to eat at the restaurant. For a
place that’s “known” for its pizza, Season’s makes
a halfway decent chicken quesadilla. Who knew? Who’d want to?
The Crew had a nice meal, and once one Crew member had a quick change
of clothes due to a couple of nachos falling onto their lap, the not to
be missed Waiting On Line Outside the Parish Center in Delaware was up
next for the next hour. This was part of a double bill featuring a few
games of “I’m Weirder Than You” thanks to a cab dropping
off half the softball team from the Homer at the Bat episode of the Simpsons,
with each person progressively odder than the one before them getting
out of the cab. This double bill was shown on the backside of one woman
from the cab whose ass was described as two pit bulls fighting under a
blanket. Ken Griffey, Jr. and his gigantism were unavailable for comment.
There weren’t a lot of people waiting outside before the show, but
things filled up nicely as the time got closer to 7:00. There wasn’t
a “legit” paid of 850, but rather an acceptable 250 or so by
the time the bell rang- and no clown music. Hopefully Bob will get to
work on that soon. The Crew was visited by Shockey and Mafia Shirt, who
probably left wondering why they sat down in the first place after talking
to the whack job in the front row (hey, front row!).
ECWA started the show with their great new opening video on the ECWATron
and a rundown of the events leading up to tonight’s lineup. There
is no other indy fed out there that does a better job of building from
card to card than the ECWA. A simple thing like an opening video recap
on a white screen goes a long, LONG way. Hell, other feds rip off ideas,
workers, and angles from Kettner all the time, but this gem is ignored?
Never wonder why the business is down these days.
In the opener, newcomer Kid Mikaze, aka Ernie Reyes, Jr., teamed with
Japanese Pool Boy against Royal Decision members Mega and Tyler Payne,
who looks to have bulked up a lot since he started for the ECWA. Mega
was his usual imposing self, and sported a few feathers on his left kneepad,
probably from the herd of mattresses or chickens he devoured on the way
down to Delaware. Not a bad opener- Pool Boy showed that his July match
was a fluke as he worked well with everyone here, and actually toned down
the gimmick somewhat, although it didn’t appear to be intentional.
Regardless, it didn’t take away from the match, as Payne and Mega
had a worked miscommunication that’s leading to Mega’s eventual
face turn, the slowest in indy history. Pool Boy and Mikaze won after
Pool Boy hit his version of the Pie in the Sky on Payne. Mikaze didn’t
wow anyone, but he didn’t detract from the match, either.
Mega and Payne’s miscommunication brought out Prince Nana, who promptly
blamed Mega for losing the match. Nana and his usual great mic work provided
a nice, smooth transition to his match, scheduled next, with Pete Gas.
Gas was making his ECWA return, and stayed in good shape in his lengthy
ECWA layoff, even if his bar body appearance included the spindliest calves
this side of Triple H. Nana carried him through a well booked match that
played off of Gas and his strengths, Mega’s initial hesitations and
eventual interference, and kept Nana as the fed’s top heel. Nana
got the win via a foiled suplex into the ring from Gas, who had his legs
taken out by Payne and then held down by ES Easton and Payne. With Easton,
Payne, and Christopher Daniels on the show and all sporting the same,
bald look, one had to wonder if ECWA sponsor Diane’s Hair Salon (or
whatever the hell it’s called) was giving out corporate discounts.
Hopefully, ECWA has a nice shoe sponsor, as the Shaolin Wrecking Crew
were next, and they did the full gimmick- even in brand new ring attire
that looked better than the red orderly scrubs they usually wear. Suba
came out swinging a shoe attached to a long chain that is surely an accident
waiting to happen, and Magic kept him, thankfully, reined in. They squashed
J-Busta and Mozart Fontaine, the most underutilized guy on the ECWA roster.
Hopefully, his future in the ECWA may be getting brighter, as Busta blamed
him for the loss- which could start a brief feud that, if anything, will
allow Mozart to get out of the role he’s been playing for too many
months.
The next match surely felt like it took months, as Zaquary Springate III
(w/Carlton P. Hightower dressed as a shorter version of Napoleon) defeated
Nick Malakai (w/the worst choice of tights imaginable). Spraingate, supposedly
from England, sported a horrible accent that had him sounding like a native
of Ontario, and a “comedy” act straight out of the Catskills.
Some of the crowd got him heat, but Spittlegate did WAY too much build
for a match where he showed zip. Maybe it’s Sizzlegate, since there
wasn’t too much steak when the bell rang. Malakai is a good mid card
add-on for the ECWA, but Nick and his little tentpole had some of the
1614 people rolling. Sometimes a simple wrestling singlet solves a lot
of problems- mostly for the people watching the match.
Those people had enough problems watching Springate, who undoubtedly watched
the five minute Best of Larry Zbyszko tape, as he demonstrated the Seven
Minute Stall to start things off- a guaranteed way to take the crowd right
out of the match. Mr. England via Nova Scotia did his one move, his senton
finisher, and his head barley grazed Malakai’s ribs. Thankfully it
led to a three count to end one of the dullest segments on an ECWA card
in probably forever.
Someone must have been smiling on the ECWA last Saturday, though, as ECWA
Heavyweight Champion Christopher Daniels took on “Shooter” Mike
Kruel in the best match on any indy card the entire weekend. Daniels and
Kruel were given 25 minutes and kept the crowd popping for 24:54 of that.
The six second blight was thanks to some moronic asshat in the crowd who
actually yelled out “BORING” within the first three minutes
of the match. This prompted a brief singsong response from one Crew member
of “IT’S WRESTLING” followed by “YOU BOZO,” which
got Daniels to chime in that “it says Wrestling on the marquee”-
popping the entire crowd. Even the youngest, dumbest, most immature mark
could see that Daniels and Kruel were building to their match, but somehow
that point went cruising right over this dimbulb’s head.
Fortunately, everyone else in the parish center “got it” as
they were completely into the match, and that surely revved up Mike Kruel,
who wrestled the match of his brief career and hung right in there with
Daniels, as these two used simple ring psychology and told a terrific
story. Daniels worked Kruel’s head and neck, while Kruel, true to
form, worked Daniel’s arm- severely. Daniels, the smartest wrestler
in the business in terms of what he does as a character, tried in vain
to protect his arm but couldn’t stop the onslaught of constant pressure,
arm wrenches, and shots from Kruel. When they were outside the ring, Kruel
did the “toss one chair and use the other” spot that Mozart
Fontaine did on the last ECWA card in a nice borrowed spot that worked
well here because it was done otusdie the ring and wasn’t that much
of a ripoff.
Kruel, ever the heel, got on the mic at one point and asked Daniels if
he wanted to quit. Great stuff- and it would have been gold if this wasn’t
Kruel’s “last chance” at the belt, as it set up an I Quit
match just like that. Daniels and his 25 second vertical suplex won the
match with a rollup out of nowhere, and both wrestlers got a deserved
standing ovation after the match. Outstanding work!
Intermission was the only way to follow that match, which at first seemed
a strange choice to be placed at a mid card point, but the reasons why
would be apparent later on. It should be noted that at some point during
the first half of the card, Mr, Ooh la La came out with Hightower to “celebrate”
ECWA’s 36th anniversary with a cake that, sure enough, went right
into Ooh’s face. Ooh was kind enough to share some of the cake with
people at ringside as he flung a few bits of it onto a Crew member’s
shirt (it tasted great). Apologies to Ooh and Hightower, but most likely
the phenomenon known as The Black Hole of Springate blocked out a few
memories of the card.
The second half of the card kicked off- literally, with Jack’s Gym
doing a kickboxing exhibition featuring Mike “No Joke”(and No
Facial Expressions) Stewart as the non-moving ref and new Crew favorite
Andrew Hom. Hom earned his “Crew favorite” status in the first
four seconds of the bout as he kicked his opponent SQUARE IN THE BALLS.
Give credit to his opponent for not crawling out of the ring to find a
bag of ice, but Hom pulled off some nice martial arts moves. A nice gesture
on Kettner’s part for his new sponsor, and it didn’t take away
from the rest of the show.
And thank goodness for that, because all eyes needed to be on the cage
under the ECWATron, as Cyco (w/Sebastain Knight) made his mark in the
ECWA annals as he faced Ray DiOrio, who might as well have been called
Dead Meat. Poor guy didn’t even get a ring entrance or music. Cyco
and Knight are now down in the ECWA record books for earning the first
sustained “BORING” chant from the crowd in ECWA history- or
at least the past eight years. Congratulations! Additional kudos to Knight
for going the extra mile in response as he hit the ring apron, yelled
for the finish (actually a nice chokeslam into a backbreaker), and then
made sure everyone was watching HIM flail around ringside like a goofball
on his hands and knees, distracting from his “charge”- who’s
supposed to be the focus of the match. Nice job!
Things mercifully got better, as Rob Eckos and Billy Bax, The Valedictorians
(w/Carlton P. Hightower), were on next. They did a brief bit before the
match where they had a “spelling bee” incorporating their opponent’s
names (Ruffhouse Rivera and Benny Stoltzfus) into the answers for “Lunatic”
and “Moron.” It’s not high comedy, but it was cute- and
aimed right at the audience they want jeering these guys.
Ruffhouse was looking to do more than just jeer, as he TORE to the ring
after the Valedictorians, who put his partner out of action six months
ago. Great spot, and a GREAT way to keep the feud rolling while Inferno
recuperated, and the veteran Rivera has pulled it off for six months straight.
Eckos and Bax brought the comedy in and out of the ring, and got the win
after a LONG rollup where poor Eckos had to hold Benny down for at least
30 seconds waiting for the ref to get into position. The Valedictorians
started putting the boots to Rivera, but the lights went out to pop the
crowd for the return of Inferno, who cleared the ring with a bat (!) and
challenged Bax and Eckos to a match next month. The Magic Towel works!!
Again- great job from Rivera and the ECWA for keeping everyone interested
in the feud between the Dicemen, Inferno and Rivera and the Valedictorians,
even with Inferno out for over six months.
The much missed Barry Casino came out to present all of the ECWA roster
featured in this year’s Pro Wrestling Illustrated 500. What, no Poison
Sawada Julie?
Jack from his gym was confronted by Tyler Payne backstage as everyone
watched on the ECWATron. Payne set Jack and his bad Prince puns up for
a quadruple team from Royal Decision. This came after Pete Gas was shown
bumming a ride from the two kickboxers to the airport. Way to take advantage
of the new sponsor, Gas, you cheap bastard! Christ, Hom doesn’t even
look 15- so make HIM take you in a car? That’s just low. Hopefully,
Gas at least paid for the…well, gas. Hopefully, Hom and his buddy
took him to the wrong airport.
Royal Decision scattered before Cheetah Master and 1614 gymboy Louie (w/No
Last Name) just happened to walk into the scene (!!) to see Jack and his
remains. This got Cheetah and Louie out to the ring to fight a no contest
with all of Royal Decision, rather than the two “promised” in
the program. This was smart booking, as it looked like ECWA painted themselves
and Royal Decision into a corner, with two of RD ostensibly wrestling
twice, but things worked out well. Everyone brawled to the back except
Ace Darling and Striker, who awaited their title challenge.
In the main event, Johnny and Joey Maxx defeated Ace Darling and Striker
to become the new ECWA Tag Team Champions. This was a good match made
great because of the gelling of Darling and Striker as a team. Unfortunately,
they had to lose the match- with Daniels and Kruel going on early, there
was NO WAY the Maxx Brothers weren’t going to win the belts here.
Still, Ace and Striker did their best to put doubts in the 250 heads watching
the match.
Royal Decision put doubts and probably a few dents into the heads of the
Maxx Brothers, as they dominated the match with a few cool double team
maneuvers. Ace began the now Officially Named Royal Treatment (send all
royalties, no pun intended, to jim@wrestlingclotheline.com
) with his Superkick, but Joey missed the spot and hit the mat before
Striker could complete the move with his Lungblower. Ace even got to use
his Ace in the Hole with help from Striker holding Johnny in the ring.
Great moves, but all for naught. Nothing against the Maxx Brothers, but
Ace and Striker could take their team anywhere in the world. Perhaps they’ll
get the belts back in a chase that lasts all fall with the Maxx Brothers.
ECWA is back at the parish center on October 4th featuring the return
of Simon Diamond. It’s about damn time!
For a show that looked to be blah at best on paper, ECWA pulled off a
good card. Fans got the “old” (Cheetah, Rivera, Ooh La La, Casino),
the new (Mikaze, Sizzlegate, DiOrio), the “borrowed” (Kruel’s
unintentional homage to Mozart with the toss the chair spot- ahh, forget
it. That’s just too much of a reach) and blue (anyone watching the
Springate or Cyco matches).
Quesadillas are on Brett next month!
Complaints, comments, questions?? Email Jim
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The comments and statements
do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Brett Schwan and the Wrestling
Clothesline (although many times, he comes damn close!). Please
feel free to email HIM with any comments, complaints, etc.
Jim has been watching wrestling for over 20 years and has followed and reported on indy wrestling for over 6 years. He's also a fan of the New York Giants, New York Yankees, St. John's Red Storm basketball, Alabama Crimson Tide football, and the New Jersey Devils, but please don't hold that against him.
Contact Jim at BilJim2@hotmail.com
