 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Since so many of you asked, here my Las Vegas Recap...
(warning, if you are easily offended by some language, you may not want
to read this)
- Brett
Part 1:
The only two crew members who were "allowed" to go to Vegas
were Frank and myself. We left my place at 5:15 am on January 3rd for
a 7:20 plane out of Islip. From Islip to Baltimore where we switched planes.
From Baltimore to Chicago to pick up more people before finally getting
to Las Vegas. We arrived in Vegas at around 1:45 pm (which means from
my door to Vegas it took nearly 12 hours!!
We stayed at the Imperial Palace which was located almost dead center on the Strip. Excellent location, excellent price, excellent blackjack dealers who were impersonators of Rod Stewart, Cher, Liza Minelli, Ray Charles (complete with upside down nametag), and many more. It was also ony a 5 minute walk from the Venetian and Sands Expo Center where the conventions were being held during the week.
Night one we decided to check out the new "Sirens of the TI" show outside what used to be called Treasure Island. Evidentally, during our time of war, they felt that name was no longer politically correct, nor was the pirate battle that used to be held outside nightly, so they changed the name of the hotel/casino to TI and created a new show. The "Sirens of the TI" was horrifying. One boat filled with women in various outfits singing (thus the Sirens), another boat with pirates enters their cove and a battle occurs. So a pirate battle during war time is politically incorrect but a pirate battle with sirens is ok? The 20 minute show ended with a female DJ coming out and rapping, "You take a little bit of honey and a whole lot of sugar and you shake it, shake it up!" Which was stuck in my head for days to follow. It seems Vegas is trying to turn itself from family friendly back to adult oriented. This is not a good way to start the transformation.
We also got 1/2 price tickets to "Showgirls of Magic" that night. How bad could it be for half price? The price included two drinks, one before the show and one during. The show, which ran 1:15, wasn't as bad as we thought it would be. It was a mix of comedy, magic, and topless magic. A huge guy in drag did a great Cher impersonation and sang "I've Got You Babe" with a midget Sonny Bono. The magic was the usual cut a lady in half type of magic except for the sometimes topless aspect.
Temperature was around 40 and very windy.
Day 2:
After the usual food and some gambling, we took in a few more sights like The Excalibur, Mandaly Bay, New York New York, and MGM.
That night we caught "Skintight" at Harrah's. Another 2 for 1 ticket deal. Unlike Showgirls of Magic, this show left a lot to be desired. It was your basic Vegas follies type show with scantily clad men and women singing and dancing. Unfortunately, the "lead" of the show was a Playboy model, Shannon O'Keefe, who they tried to make us believe was doing the actual singing when, in reality, she was lip syncing to Shakira and Pat Benatar. AT LEAST use a differnt version of the songs and not the ones everyone knows!! The other thing that seems to be customary in these Vegas shows is throwing a comedian in at the halfway point. This poor guy never stood a chance. He came out to no reaction, continued to get no reaction, and seemed to just get pissed off and cut his set short. If you get the chance to see "Skintight" pass on it and go see "Showgirls of Magic" instead!
We headed to Sapphire (the self proclaimed largest gentleman's club) since Kylie Wilde told me she would be there on Sunday night. (More on Kylie later for those of you unfamiliar with her). Needless to say, she wasn't there. The club was pretty dead with a "Girls of the Internet 4" party taking place in a separate room. Sapphire is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There is a $20 cover charge and drinks cost between $ 8 and $ 10. Fairly steep prices but not as bad as some places in New York
Went to the back with one girl for some dances. When we were done she told me that I had another option. She then told me how she does outcall work and for $500 she would come to my hotel room for a private lap dance for an hour. Since we would be in the privacy of my own room, we could then negotiate other activities. I played along and told her maybe later in the week. She asked for my name and the hotel I was at and said she'd call. We were then given a complimentary limo back to the Imperial Palace where, upon entering the room, the message light was blinking. I called to retrieve my message and the girl actually read the message back to me. I guess they haven't gotten those high tech voice mail systems yet. The message was from the girl at the club, leaving her cell number and telling me to call her back. NOW THAT'S SERVICE!! Gotta give the girl credit for calling before I even got back to the room. Needless to say, I never called her.
Day 3:
The first day of the InterNext Expo. InterNext is held twice a year, once in Vegas and once in Florida. It is "The world's largest adult internet/audiotext tradeshow (http://www.internext-expo.com/). This was our second year attending and it was packed with "celebs". Since this convention is for those involved in the internet/audiotext trade, it isn't as crowded as the other conventions that are open to the public. It makes it nice because the lines for the bigger named guests aren't as ridiculous as they are at other shows. Some of the "stars" in attendance were: Monique Alexander, Sunrise Adams, Sunny Leone, Carmen Luvana, Jenna Jameson, Lexington Steele, Gina Lynn, Catalina Cruz, Neriah, Tawny Roberts, Laurie Wallace, Alexandra Silk, Dayton, Penny Flame, Aria Giovanni, and Stephanie Swift.
This was my first opportunity to hop online and check my email. I had a message from Kylie Wilde telling me how she would not be at Sapphire's on Sunday night as she had to go to bed early because she would be at a booth at InterNext on Monday. Now I get the email! Too little too late!
SO, we headed out to find her booth. She was appearing at the "fuckingmachines.com" booth. However, upon looking at the slideshow they had running, I couldn't help but notice they spelled it "fukingmachines.com". Fuking! LOL! Great way to market yourselves! I hopped on the line to see Kylie and told her I JUST got her email. She apologized and asked if I was mad. I told her no but I was glad to see she got her rest and still made it to the show some 3 hours late! We talked for a bit. I got my annual autograph and photo with her then we made our way around the rest of the convention.
Some of the highlights of the day, other than Kylie Wilde and the fact that she would be dancing tonight downtown, were:
Kylie Ireland was at the show doing live interviews for her show on KSEX Radio. During her interview with Alexandra Silk, Silk was asked "If we join your website what do we get?" Alexandra answered, "You get to see my cookie" To which Kylie said, "She's quite a baker." (It was funny if you were there live).
Monique Alexander (who is now #2 on my top 5 list) asking the question, "Brett, is that B - E - R - T?"
Lauren Phoenix, who after signing an autograph with a thank you letting us know, "You always have to say thank you when you're getting it up the ass."
After the convention and some dinner we headed downtown to Freemont Street. The site is pretty cool as everything is completely lit up including the sky. We walked the street, hit a few casinos, then made our way to the "Glitter Gulch". There is no cover charge but there is a two drink minimum (which ends up costing close to $20 with tip). We were taken to a booth where we sat back with few words to say. The selection of girls here was, to be nice, interesting. From the Stay Puff Marshmallow Girl to Kamala's little sister it was a mix that was not easily forgotten. THANK GOD Kylie found us and took us to a larger booth further away from the front door. Kylie is a complete wise ass with more sarcasm than anyone her size should have. It is scary how much alike we are. She hung out with us at the booth for quite a while talking about everything from her career to the club to what we do to how we like Vegas. She even blew off going on stage and making some $$. After numerous drinks, she took me to the back of the club for a few dances. Long story short, some 4 hours later, we were done. Come on! You think I'm not going to get as many dances as humanly possible from the #1 girl on my top 5 list!? What are you, nuts?? It was cool as she'd dance a few songs then we'd sit and make fun of some of the customers. A few more dances then I'd make fun of some of the girls there. It was a lot of fun. About 2 hours into it Kylie went to find her friend Logan who luckilly had been talking to Frank while I was gone. They then came to the back where the dances continued. If the girl had an official website, I'd plug it.. but she doesn't so just check out any of the Jim Holliday movies from the past year and she'll be in them! Song moment of the night, Michael Jackson's "Beat It" plays and Kylie says, "Ooh! It's Whip It!". The rest of the night wer'e singing "Whip it now!"
At around 3:30 am, after watching one dancer give a guy a dance as if she was a rabbit having sex, it was last call. Kylie was supposed to be at the convention at noon. I was more than ready to put up a few bucks saying she wouldn't be there before 3. She was smart enough not to take the bet.
To be continued...
Day 4:
Pretty much the same as Day 3 as the convention continued and most of the stars that appeared here yesterday were here again today. Tabitha Stevens was supposed to appear at the Huster Booth to sign for a few hours and while she was seen lingering around, no one really saw her signing. No big loss. Kylie made it in at about 2pm. I SO should have bet her on that one.
Great lines from today:
Laurie Wallace: "What a great name! My first boyfriend's name was Brett. Of course I was in first grade at the time."
Day 5:
It's the thrid and final day of the InterNext Expo. The show closes at 5pm today as it is the last day. All the stars who appeared the first to days are mostly here again today with the addition of Ashton Moore who flew in earlier today. Ashton is a sweetheart and we've known her for a few years now. We hopped on her line and got a quick autograph. The crowd was starting to line up for Jenna Jameson so we hopped on the line and were 3rd and 4th on line. It is SO much easier to get Jenna at this show as the crowd is much smaller than at the AEE show later in the week where her line lasts for hours. Jenna, while not my favorite in the business, is very cool. When one guy walked up to her for a picture she pretty much told him she knows he cut the whole line and even asked us to rat him out. Her bodyguard made sure the line stayed in some order while Jenna signed pretty much anything and everything we had for her, and posed for pictures. Of course, Ashton had to chime in and tell Jenna, "Give him a hard time" when I got to her. I responded with "Listen here lady... I don't see a huge line for you!" Jenna looked at me in shock and said, "Did you just call her lady?" Another had to be there moment.
Another great quote from today was during a Kylie Ireland interview with Sunrise Adams. Sunrise spoke about how she was up for the Best Feature Actress award at the AVN Awards this year. " I was nominated for Best Feature Actress. I can't act. I didn't get into this to act, I got into this to fuck so I don't want that award!" Now that's my kind of girl!! LOL
We headed back to the hotel to rest for a while then realized that Adam Glasser (Seymore Butts) was signing copies of his DVD from his Showtime Series "Family Business" at Virgin Megastore in Ceasars Palace. We headed over there where one sign said he'd be there at 7 and another said 6. Sadly, that was pretty much the only publicity for his appearance. By the time he arrived, the line was a whopping TWO people, myself and Frank. Seymore was cool as usual. If you haven't seen his show, the second season starts on January 30th on Showtime. It is a must see. If you have seen his show, get the DVD and be sure to watch Episode 8 - Las Vegass. Look very carefully at about 8 minutes into the show and you can see me ! :)
Frank was sporting hsi Jets cap and jacket when we went up to get our DVD signed. Seymore said, "Are you a Jet fan?" I almost fell on the floor laughing. What the hell gave it away? After a discussion of the days events in football and our day at InterNext, we got our DVD signed and headed back to the hotel.
We got a call from Tiffany Shepis (www.tiffany-shepis.com) who told us she was coming in on a 10pm flight out of LA and would be in Vegas sometime after 11 and we'd get together for drinks. To be quite honest, I never in a million years thought Tiff would take time out of her schedule to come and visit the two of us in Vegas. Well, at 12 midnight the phone rang and it was Tiff. Her and her mom just arrived and were checking into the Tropicana. She told us to meet them at the "fishy bar" just past the lobby. We headed on down to the Trop and made our way to the "fishy bar" which is a pretty accurate description. Frank had his second ever real drink while the rest of us lost money on video poker. We then headed over to watch Tiff try and make some money at Blackjack before heading to the little diner in the Tropicana for a late dinner. The waitress loved us, if for no other reason, because we all ordered the same damn thing. It was nice to sit down and talk with Tiff and mom who we rarely get to see other than at Chiller Theatre every year or so. Even there, Tiff is so damn popular that she can barely get 5 minutes away from her table. Even then, she gets stalked by camera men (no names mentioned Mr Stiff Shots! LOL).
Tiff and Mom headed up to their room, we headed back to the Imperial Palace (where even Tiff agrees they should have stayed).
Day 6:
The first day of the AEE (Adult Entertainment Expo). Like
a kid in a candy store. WOW. Pretty much anyone who is in the business
is at this show. The list reads like a who's who. SOME of the people there
(and I'm missing a LOT) were: Sunrise Adams, Alexis Amore, Julia Ann,
Regan Anthony, Belladonna, Nikki Benz, Rob Black (hey! It's wrestling
related!), Ashley Blue, Violet Blue, Lizzy Borden (2nd wrestling related
name!), Tom Byron, Mary Carey, Cherokee, Callie Cox, Catalina Cruz, Daisy,
Jessica Darlin (another wrestling name!), Dayton, Devon, Jewel D'Nyle,
Jessica Drake (Frank's #1 choice), Kelly Erickson, Alana Evans, Ashley
Evans, Britney Foster, Friday, Gauge, Katie Gold, Hannah Harper, Nina
Hartley, Jenna Haze, Holly Hollywood, India, Jenna Jameson, Jesse Jane,
Ron Jeremy, Teanna Kai, Kaylynn, Kira Kener, Christi Lake, Devinn Lane,
Kaylanni Lei, Dominica Leone, Sunny Leone, Gina Lynn, Anna Malle, Kelle
Marie, Monica Mayhem, Max Hardcore, Mercedez, Ashton Moore, Katie Morgan,
Gen Padova, Tera Patrick, Pamela Peaks, Lauren Phoenix, Queeny, Tawny
Roberts, Rachel Rotten, Savannah Sampson, Ann Marie, Nicole Sheriden,
Shay Sights, Alexandra Silk, Brittney Skye, Aurora Snow, Lexington Steele,
Sydnee Steele, Stormy, Shay Sweet, Monica Sweetheart (Looking amazing!!),
Stephanie Swift, Sunset Thomas, Trinity, Felix Vicious, Luc Wylder, adn
Victoria Zdrok.
Nearly every single one of them was extremely nice to the fans in attendance. The show opened at 11am on Thursday for the "trade hours" then the "fans" were allowed in at 2pm. It was nice to have the 3 hour jump on the fans since it gets REAL crowded when they pile in.
At around 1pm we headed out to meet Tiff and Mom for lunch. We found them playing blackjack once again. Tiff had the dealer eating out of the palm of her hand. Damn her! LOL. We decided, upon the dealer's reccommendation, to eat at Margaritaville. Margaritaville seems to have a looping soundtrack that only includes 2 Jimmy Buffett songs and one of them is NOT "Cheeseburger in Paradise". If it's on the menu, it should at least be on the soundtrack. After about 35 minutes the songs repeat. Not pretty. After our mediocre lunch, we headed to the lovely Margaritaville Gift Shop where Tiffany was kind enough to dress us up in Jimmy Buffet garb and pose for pictures with us. (We had to have some proof that Tiff actually showed up! LOL)
Sadly, it was time for us to head back to the AEE and Tiff's last chance to lose some money before heading back to LA. So we said our goodbyes. I can not tell Tiff how awesome it was for her to come out just to see us (and lose some $$). We owe ya, Tiff and Mom!!!
Tiff was going to call Ron Jeremy prior to coming to Vegas to see if he could get her into the AEE show. She forgot to call him and his line was so damn long that we couldn't get to him to tell him she was in town. She filled out one of the complimentary postcards from Margaritaville and gave it to us to give to Ron back at the convention. (She worked with Ron in a movie called Death Factory). We were able to give it to Ron but he could not grasp the fact that Tiffany was in Vegas and was no headed back to LA and that she came to Vegas to see us. We FINALLY got him to comprehend the scenario and he said, "What a moron! There's a porn convention. I know Ron Jeremy. Let me NOT call him and see if he can get me in!". That was our first ever real conversation with Mr. Jeremy.... Hopefully, it will be our last.
Back at the convention Frank took a glance over at the Pleasure Productions booth and saw a lady who looked somewhat familair. Upon moving closer, we saw that it was Chasey Lain. Chasey, who has been in the business for many years, had signed with PP about 6 months ago but had not done any appearances for them yet. We had the pleasure of seeing her feature about 3 years ago and it was one of the best feature performances we have ever seen. Unfortunately, times have changed. Chasey looked exhausted, she was slurring her words, and looked mainly confused. I told her how we had seen her at Al's Diamond Cabaret and she asked if we were there when the guy fell of the barstool. When I told her know she said, "Well, you should have been." Uh...OK...Even though she didn't seem all that great, she posed for pics and signed autographs. After about 30 minutes, she was gone. We didn't see her again the rest of the week.
Sidenote: I found the following last night at AVN.com and it explains why we didn't see Chasey after the one time we did.
"CHATSWORTH, Calif. - There were some scary moments surrounding the 2004 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo last week, with two performers being admitted to the hospital due to drug overdoses.
One of the most popular performers in the history of adult video, Chasey Lain, was admitted Saturday night after allegedly overdosing on a combination of methamphetamine and heroin. Sources say she had both drugs on her at the time as well as hypodermic needles, and that she was released from the hospital the following day. No charges were filed."
To be continued...
The AEE opened at 10am today which was a nice jump on the fan admission at 2pm. By this point, we have seen many of the stars every day this week and they know us. (Some are on the verge of calling police fearing we are stalking them… but I still love Monica Sweetheart LOL).
No sign of Chasey Lain today. In her place, Lezley Zen. Also appearing today, for the first time, Flick Shagwell. I am not a huge fan of either of these ladies. However, both of them were very nice and signed and posed for pictures. (Flick, with her new blonde hair, actually doesn’t look all that bad.)
Saw Max Baer Jr. walking around the floor of the convention. For those of you who do not know who he is… he played Jethro on the original Beverly Hillbillies TV series. He’s got to be pushing 65 by now.
Found Taylor Rain way in the back at a booth. She too was very sweet (and is getting married at the convention tomorrow). It’s a shame she’s no longer in the business. (We’ll see how long that lasts).
Also saw Allisyn Chaynes today. Haven’t seen her since last year’s show. She still looks good.
The show ran until 7pm. Once the fans were let in at 2pm, it once again became a circus. Reports are that the fan line went outside the building and went 3 blocks. It is the most attended AEE show in history. (And with the lineup they have, how can it not be?)
There were several “parties” scheduled for tonight. The problem with most of them is they are too packed with fans thinking they have a shot at getting with a porn star. Also, most of the stars who do appear at the parties are hidden away in a back room or VIP room, as far away from the fans as possible. We made an effort to check out the JKP (Jill Kelly Productions) Party at Venus (at the Venetian). We were lucky enough to find Ashton Moore, Haven, and Jenna Haze headed there so we followed them. When they had a hard time getting in, we decided to not even attempt it.
On the way to the party we stumbled across "Dueling Pianos" in La Playa bar at Harrah's. Attractive twin sisters playing grand pianos and taking requests. Very entertaining and not all that bad to look at. MUCH better that some of the other free entertainment around Vegas. Dueling Pianos plays every night. This was our first time seeing it. Prior to this, all we had seen in La Playa was some bad Tom Jones impersonator who also impersonated Richard Simmons.
We watched the volcano erupt outside the Mirage, as we headed back to our hotel room.
Another party was being held at OPM (get it? Opium?) at Ceasers Palace. It was supposed to be another “star studded” event. The only reason I had any interest in going was the fact that Kylie Wilde was being advertised on the flier. The party however had a steep cover charge, and knowing Kylie, she wouldn’t show up until long after I left. (I at least had the common sense to call Kylie and find out if she was indeed going to be at the party. She said she would be but I opted out anyway. Kylie said she’d be working tomorrow night at Glitter Gulch and she’d call to let me know what time so we could get together again before I headed home.)
Day 8:
The third day of the AEE. Today we only get a 2-hour jump on the fans. Unfortunately, one roll of film got destroyed in Frank’s camera. Of course, we weren’t sure who was on that roll so we pretty much ran around and got pictures with and of everyone there. A line started forming at noon for 50 Cent, who was going to be signing posters, as even he has a hand in the adult business. What a mess. The line went on forever. There was no organization. 50 Cent was over and hour late. Mike Tyson and his minions were walking around as if they owned the place, causing even more chaos. Ugh. 50 Cent ended up signing MAYBE 30 autographs before he just got up and left. What a joke and waste of time for anyone involved.
One bright point was the fact that we had plenty of time to stare at Monica Sweetheart, who was sporting a completely see through top today. If she didn’t call security on me after today, she never will.
Today the show closed at 5pm to give the “stars” time to get ready for this evening’s AVN Awards Show. The show was hosted by Jenna Jameson and Jim Norton and is the academy awards of the adult industry.
It was hilarious to watch the stars walk down the red carpet. They would stop to talk to a reporter, then continue their walk toward the show. Most of the people on the sidelines had no clue who anyone was. Sadly, we did LOL. To guys behind us just happened to stumble upon the event while they were walking through the Venetian. We kept them informed on who everyone was and they would scream out their names so the “stars” would turn to us for a photo. It was pretty funny when they would call out the name of someone we wanted nothing to do with. It was also pretty sad when Frank would say someone’s name a little to loud and they would hear it and automatically pose for a photo. Props go out to all the people who recognized us and stopped to pose for a picture. Special thanks to Ashton Moore who not only stopped but stopped Tyler Faith with her AND stopped traffic from coming between her and our cameras!! Also thanks to those who went out of their way for us, from Monica Sweetheart to Flick Shagwell to Sunrise Adams to Dayton and Devon. It was a fun experience.
Caught a few minutes of "Dueling Pianos" once again.
We grabbed a bite to eat at the “Burger Palace” inside out hotel before heading back downtown to the Glitter Gulch. We were escorted to a seat at the stage. WAY to close to some of the girls. Luckily, Kylie and her friend, Logan, soon saved us. Kylie had to dance on stage (which was cool since we never got to see her do it last time). Even though the music sucked she kicked ass and raked in a NICE amount of cash. When she was done, she had to go dance on a smaller stage so the waitress took us to a big booth in the back to wait for her. The HUGE bouncer came over and introduced himself (I forgot his name). He is originally from NJ and was too cool. He checked in on us a few more times that night. Kylie made her way back and we had some drinks and dances. We made fun of some more people, and kept it up (no pun intended) until 4:30 am when it was time to catch a cab back to the hotel for our 5:30 shuttle to the airport for the trip home.
Needless to say, Kylie’s 15-minute ride home didn’t really compare to our 6 hours of travel still ahead of us BUT at least she had the next 4 days off to recuperate!
Overall it was a phenomenal trip with absolutely no wrestling or Internet activity (other than 10 minutes checking email) whatsoever. It was our best trip to Vegas thus far (of course it was only our second).
I must thank Frank for being able to tolerate me for over a week. Special thanks to Tiffany Shepis (tiffany-shepis.com) for coming out to see us. NEVER in a million years did I think she would. She did and she has earned my complete respect. Thanks to Kylie (check out the latest Jim Holliday release and look for Kylie Wilde is Absolutely Adorable on DVD soon!) for making the trip even more memorable. To be able to get to actually sit and talk with her was awesome. Thanks also go out to the following people for actually remembering us and recognizing us as not being stalkers after a long week: Carmen Luvana, Jenna Jameson, Sunrise Adams, Sunset Thomas, Monica Sweetheart, Ashton Moore, Jenna Haze, jessica drake, Stephanie Swift, Ann Marie, Alexandra Silk, and the many more I am leaving out.
Well, you asked for it. Here it is. Of course, some things may have been
omitted to protect the guilty ;)
Just remembered someone I completely forgot to mention, that we saw in Vegas... AND it's wrestling related. At the InterNext Expo, for the 2nd year in a row, we saw Lana Kinnear!! Lana worked in WOW and CRUSH as Lana Star. Lana is looking as lovely as ever and even remembered us. Sorry for the oversight, Lana!!
Just read this on another site "The largest cheers at AVN Expo were for rapper 50 Cent, wrestler Hulk Hogan and boxer Mike Tyson". It's amazing how nobody actually researches anything these days. Hogan was NOT at the AVN Expo. However, there was a pretty good Hogan impersonator there. It was not Terry Bollea however.
