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Untrained/Shitty wrestlers....AGAIN!
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Today at 2:15pm
This topic keeps coming up and I have addressed it several times
before...but after last night, I have to YET AGAIN address these wannabe
wrestlers. If you are offended by the word SHIT...I could
careless...read on anyways.
Where to start? I know, lets start with the fact I woke up with a
bleeding eyeball today. I'm so hot right now, I don't know if this is
going to be long or short.
Last night I was scheduled to team with Tank Toland up in Columbus
Indiana. Jillian (Hall) texted me to let me know Tank had severe food
poisoning and wasn't coming. She ended the text with "be safe and
have
fun!"...if I only knew what was going to go down.
My replacement tag partner was some guy (who I would list by name to
bury his pathetic ass, but I can't remember his name)--which is another
thing all you wannabe assholes...if your own tag partner can't remember
your name, maybe, JUST maybe your NOT doing something right...For the
purpose of the rest of the blog, he'll be named Shit.
So shit and I (as faces) vs a tag team who's storyline is if they lose,
they are going to shave their manager's head (for costing them victories
or something indy like that). Being the most experienced "worker",
I
assembled the guys to outline what we were doing. They all assured me
they could "work". I asked Shit if he had any fabe heat with
this team,
he said no, so I said "ok, we'll start with putting over the possible
shaved head, grab the arm & get some exchanges, tell a nice little
story
in the beginning, they cut Shit off, take a decent heat, hot tag to me,
heels bump n feed, I go for a pin, it gets broken up, 4 way into my
finisher for the pin." Very BASIC, BASIC tag match.
You'd think.
I asked all 3 "you all got it right? All makes sense?" ...."Yep".
Since I normally work heel, it was rather surprising to get a huge face
pop when I came out...thought to myself, "Aight, lets have some fun".
Pffffft.
I had planned on starting the match but Shit was all excited so I let
him. At this point, I happened to notice I was the only guy in the match
NOT wearing a t-shirt. I figured they were wearing their merch to put
it
over and would take it off...nope. What a load of shit. This is
professional wrestling. If you want to be a wrestler, LOOK the part.
Don't throw on a pair of shitty tights and try to hide your hideous
bodies with t-shirts, cuz from here on out, I will rip your shit off and
show everyone what you're hiding.
Anyways...
Match starts with a shitty lockup. Out of nowhere, Shit starts throwing
some shitty punches and very shittily shoots the heel and gives him a
shitty elbow. What about the arm? Shit then throws more shitty punches
and the icing on that shit cake was some shitty chops. He brings the
heel over to me and then the match goes to...SHIT.
I extend my hand for the tag (down low like a handshake) and for some
reason I can't figure out, Shit tags me...IN THE FACE. He hit me so hard
in the eye, I thought he knocked my eye out and I just about fell off
the apron. The fans all put it over too and you heard the groan of WTF.
Instantly I had no vision in my eye. I tried blinking a few times fast
to get the vision back, but nada.
I reluctantly come in and grab an arm hold (imagine that, a wrestling
hold) and yelled for the ref to come over to me. "Whats wrong with
my
eye???" ...."I dunno man, its fucked up though, there is no
white and it
looks like its bleeding"....FUUUUUUUCK.
I tag Shit back in. I can feel both blood and tears running down my
face, yet I can't see anything. I looked down and saw my contact on the
mat, so I once again yelled for the ref and gave him my contact. Due to
the fact I only have 2 eyes and one seemed to be very fucked up, for the
first time in my career, I really thought about just jumping off the
apron and walking out. I thought "I don't need this shit. Fucker
can't
even make a tag and I might be blind? Fuck this". But for some reason,
I
stayed.
The match was the shits. The heels were ok, but they didn't know how
to
get real heat nor keep the baby alive and as sure as shit you can
believe Shit didn't know how to keep himself alive. Uh oh, double down.
Here comes the hot tag. It's gonna be all me so it won't be too bad even
with one eye...fuck! I hate being wrong.
So Shit makes the tag (and didn't cripple me)...I hop in and go to town,
but I notice only one heel is feeding...why...? Because Shit stands up
like Superman, er SuperShit and no sells the whole heat and already has
the other heel in the corner...wtf??? I post my heel, jump in, hit the
finish and its over. At this point, I can barely see anything out of my
eye.
I get to the back and Im fuming. The ref comes to me and gives me my
contact which was in 3 pieces (thanks Shit, like thats all I need to do
with my pay is put part of it towards new lenses, dick) Shit comes over
and literally says "hey man, my bad. Wasn't intentional so no
worries"...WHAT? Not even a "hey man are you OK? I said "WTF!
Why on
earth would you tag me in the face when my hand was just below the top
rope??? I held my hand out in front of his face and slapped the shit out
of it and said "THIS IS HOW WE TAG". He walked away dejected...I
really
wanted to knock him on his ass...but getting to a mirror to see the
damage was more important.
In the bathroom, just like the ref said, there was no white in my eye.
Looked like a blood ball instead of an eyeball. There was a piece of
skin hanging from in my eye that I pulled out. Fuckin gross. On top of
that, all around my eye was already black and puffy.
Now let me make something clear here about injuries in wrestling. I have
had quite a few. Broken ankles, fingers, ribs, torn ACL, back/neck
problems, concussions...etc. Whatever. Comes with the territory. This
SHIT drives me nuts because it should never happen. On a tag I almost
lose my eye? Shit happens in wrestling, but this was bullshit. Shit and
all these other wannabe wrestlers who think they can work and ruining
the business in so many ways, the last thing they need to do is take out
"real" workers.
I am always a professional, and after waking up with dried blood all
around my eye socket, I've had it. I'm serving notice to all the
untrained, wannabe wrestlers out there. If any of you are ever lucky
enough to be in the same ring with me and you so much as fuck up
anything BASIC, I am going to beat your fucking asses right then and
there. Fuck you. I am not going to jeopardize my CAREER (yes Career, I
know its hard to grasp since its a hobby for you wannabe cocksuckers)
because you suck and don't really give a shit. You're such big marks
your confused--you think you care, but you have no idea what real
passion is for this business.
Screw up like this with me in the ring, and I'll clear up that confusion.
*flush*.
-JD Maverick-
myspace.com/jd_michaels
