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On Saturday, June 26th the United Wrestling Alliance held a free show on Cutler St. in Newark, NJ. Since "The Crew" was headed to CSWF in Wayne, NJ that night anyway we decided to give it a shot. How bad could it be? Granted, it was in Newark BUT it was a free show.
When we (which started out as myself, Ron, Frank, and Frank's little brother Kerry making his debut at wrestling events) arrived in Newark, the ring had not even arrived yet. So much for the 1pm belltime. We were soon joined by the returning Lawrence Kleber who we had MIA for months. At approximately 2:30 the show began.
The show opened with Alere Little Feather coming out demanding a title shot against UWA Women's Champion, Luscious Lily. Lily soon came out, accompanied by The Killer Babes (April Hunter and Nikki Roxx). This brought out Rick Silver with Shannon and Cindy Rogers. Silver made a six woman tag match to take place "after the next match". The ring announcer announced the participants for the next match, which included "the other member of The New Big Unit". Of course, some fan had to point out that her name was Cindy Rogers. The ring announcer didn't seem to happy with him but Luscious Lily told him "leave him alone, he's retiring." April replied, "If he makes it out of here alive."
Due to several wrestlers no showing, the card had to be switched around a bit but, that didn't impact the matches all that much.
The opening contest saw Keenan Quinn defeat Brian Fury in a well wrestled contest.
Next up was the six woman tag. The referee for the match, Joe Rules. The two teams were comprised of Alere Little Feather, Luscious Lily, and Shannon (sorry I didn't catch the last name) vs Luscious Lily and The Killer Babes. Lily was so confident in her team that she put the title on the line if anyone could pin any member of her team. Smart move on Lily's part since it was basically a three on two since one of the members of the opposing team really wasn't a wrestler. The match basically saw Lily's team destroy Shannon (who could barely even take a bump). A modified Total Elimination by the Killer Babes looked great. Lily hit a beautiful Slyk Slam onto her own knee. Joe Rules kept order by telling Alere and Cindy, whenever they tried to enter the ring, to "Get out of the ring. Get out of the ring. Get out of the ring. Get out of the ring. Get out of the ring..." While Alere, Cindy, April, and Nikki brawled outside the ring, Lily hit an Impaler on Shannon for the three count.
After the match, Cindy Rogers destroyed both Shannon and Alere for causing her to not win the Women's Championship.
CJ O'Doyle, complete with Irish flag, defeated Greg Spitz. O'Doyle got in the ring, after a LONG walk around the ring, got on the turnbuckles and stood there for what seemed like an eternity. Just when he knew the crowd had seen enough, he waited 10 more seconds. Great heel tactics. Very good match by both men.
Crazy Ivan entered the ring next. He went into a racist tirade that honestly had the people who lived on the street running out of their houses and cars to see who was saying this. What started as 50 people had soon grown to 250 due to Ivan's comments. They wanted Ivan dead. I was afraid they may take out their anger on the 5 of us. Luckily, they didn't. Enter Slyk Wagner Brown to an ovation which easily matched anything Hogan or Warrior ever had. The match was for Crazy Ivan's UWA Heavyweight Title. Slyk took the early advantage and the crowd went wild. Ivan with a few cheap shots to get the upper hand. Slyk fought back but missed a moonsault attempt. Ivan with a huge elbow off the top rope for a two count. Slyk was able to make a comeback but as soon as Ivan was in over his head, he punched the referee, which caused for the DQ. The winner of the match, Slyk Wagner Brown but Crazy Ivan retains his title.
The UWA Tag Title Match was next as The S.T.D. ( Frankie Starz & The Orphan w Foo Foo ) faced the Elm Street Kids with Penny Dreadful. How and why Foo Foo, who wasn't even in the match and was at ringside, started bleeding is beyond me. During this match we were joined by Jim Brambilla who for some reason can't read simple directions and got lost. Brambilla didn't even recognize Starz in the ring (see what having 2 kids, a wife and a mortgage will do to you?). Elm Street Kids dominated most of the match by keeping Starz and Orphan on the mat or out of the ring. Some offense by Starz who hit several nice moves in a row only to get knocked to ringside. Elm Street Kids were able to battle back and pinned The Orphan to become the new UWA Tag Team Champions.
The next bout was a Hardcore Title # 1 Contender Match between Bison Bravado, Danny Yamz, and Nordic Warrior. Nordic Warrior was wearing what looked to be my bathmat. But I digress. This was a hardcore bout so the action quickly spilled to the street and through the crowd. What better time to get a Pina Colada than now? You have got to love the guy making the Pina Colada's as he says, "tell me when" while pouring in the rum! GREAT PINA COLADA!! The winner of the match, and #1 Contender to the Hardcore Title... Danny Gamz.
Intermission was announced and it was time for us to head out to grab a bite to eat before heading to the CSWF show in Wayne, NJ.
For what we saw, and for a free show (where the majority of the wrestlers appearing probably wrestled for little or no money) this was a fun show. The matches were solid. The crowd was into it. It had a great combination of wrestling as well as comedy in the right places. Nothing dragged out to the point that fans were getting restless or bored. Good job and kudos to all involved. And thanks for the cheap plug on the mic. If only the people in that area had computers!
We were under the impression that Wayne was about 20 minutes away (at least that was what we were told). Frank, Kerry, and I hopped in my car. Ron went with Brams. Slyk and April got into theirs while Nikki and Brian Fury, got into theirs. We all followed Larry toward Wayne. Some 30 minutes later we arrived in the general area. Evidentially, no one told Larry we were going to eat as he made a turn on the road to the PAL. We kept going straight and ended up stopping at a Subway which was fine with most of us (of course, Brams was not thrilled because Subway does not have beer :)
A very nice lunch with "The Crew", April, Slyk, Nikki, and Brian (thanks for enlightening me, Brian!). At least it was very nice for "The Crew". I don't know how much the other four enjoyed it. However, to the Crew's credit, we never brought up anal or breast lifts during the conversation. (Did we, April?)
Lunch ended and Nikki and Brian wisely decided to head back home and skip the CSWF festivities. They obviously are not gluttons for punishment like some of us are! LOL
We headed over to the PAL building where we saw Mike Kehner, who we hadn't seen in a while. Mike was working the show tonight, which was a pleasant surprise, as he sells many of the moves better than the actual wrestlers do. Also saw Mark and Nick Knowledge (who shares my admiration for a certain "Punk"). Robert Payes was soon on hand.
Promoter Billy Firehawk came out to thank the people on line for coming out to support the show. Of course, he had to be a "heel" and follow that up with, "because if you buy a ticket it's money in my pocket." He followed that up with thanking the crowd again. A few fans in line yelled some truths to him, but having no sense of humor (or sense of how to book, do storylines, or wrestle) he didn't appreciate it.
Doors opened late "because the ring got here late". Luminaries in attendance included Dani the Suicidal Photographer and her friend Paul, who was also at the UWA show, Jay, Paul, Fat Frank and Ray, Rose Marie, Gerry Strauss, Serena, Bodyguard for Hire, Mrs. Hire, Grandpa Hire, and Eric Rosen.
The show opened with Mrs. Levy doing an outstanding job singing the National Anthem.
Referee for the first match, Mike Kehner.
For the Internet Championship (I guess the winner gets a free year subscription to AprilHunter.com?) Mike Tobin (minus the M Tizzle), with John Shane, defeated Danny Jaxx, with Tara Charisma, by count out. A well paced, well wrestled match. The only downside was the match was very short. The opening match sets the pace for the entire night. Good move starting out with Tobin and Jaxx as, when put in the ring with the right person, both can have great matches. Bad move having the match go under 10 minutes. The end came when both me were fighting at ringside. The ref count got to 8 and Tobin hopped back in. As Jaxx tried to get in, John Shane grabbed his leg, causing the count out. Good effort by both men.
The second match, which I think is still going on, saw Julio Dinero defeat Danny Doring. These two guys called it home. They made no attempts to even take a bump. Evidentially, Julio's reward for stinking up the joint against Al Snow last time was to come out and spend 10 minutes reading Hamlet to the crowd. It was funny... for THE FIRST MINUTE. Five minutes later, HE'S STILL READING!!. Hell, his opening mic crap was longer than the entire first match!!. Once Doring got into the ring, it was more stalling. All this went on for 20 minutes before there was a ref bump and Julio pulling the tights to win. Enter JD Dreamer who tells Julio to get out of the ring and stop reading. Julio won't. Dreamer calls out "Maison" (Maison Raige). Raige stands there, Julio leaves. What a great way to get Maison over! Have him do nothing! Brilliant!
So we are two matches in and so far, both had screwjob finishes. Now that's booking genius!
Michael Shane and Traci entered the ring next. Mr Crowbar came out and apologized for Mr Tenay's absence but said he was there on behalf of Mr. Tenay. He told Shane to throw away the Cruiserwieght Title he held and presented him with the CSWF CruiserX belt. Nice way to show off that the promotion has unlimited funds as this served no true purpose, other than to show off a new pretty title. Shane's opponent was introduced and out came Mike Kruel. Traci threw her shoes at a fan at ringside. Luckily, he was not to badly injured. Great match. How could it not be? Kruel continuously worked the arm while Shane did his best to battle back. Traci interfered whenever possible. Great chain wrestling by both men. Grim Reefer and Nick Maddox came to ringside and surrounded Traci. Michael Shane was distracted by what was going on at ringside and Kruel rolled him up from behind for the win. Your winner.. Mike Kruel. Best match of the night so far. Of course, it was never announced whether or not this match was a title match or not (other than in their press release) so the crowd was a bit disappointed that Shane kept the belt. If they thought they were disappointed with that.. wait until the next match.
Next up was a Tag Team Turmoil Tournament for the CSWF Tag Team Titles. Of course, once again, no clear rules or stipulations were announced so the fans pretty much had to guess what was going on.
The first two teams were the Himalaya Playaz (Aaron Hood and Gemini) vs Genesis and Creed. Aaron Hood stopped at ringside to quickly do a "10 Questions With..." Here they are: "No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, Yes". Genesis could not throw a punch nor could he do an elbow. Hell, he was so white he was clear (that quote is courtesy Brams). What better way to show how green he is? Let his team win!. At least Hood was able to get in the slingshot legdrop of the ring apron before missing a huge splash off the top rope. So far, so realistic as the team with a combined weight of 26 lbs just beat a team with a combined weight of 700 plus pounds.
The next team to enter were the CSWF Promoter and his friend. (AKA Fire and Smoke). Both men think they can wrestle. Both men are sadly mistaken. No matter how hard Firehawk tries to pull this "I'm just trying to have fun" crap, he and Smoke do NOTHING to the card in any way, shape or form. Do I care if he hates me? Nope. Do I at least have the balls to tell him what I think? Yep. In fact, I have said it to him in person time and time again. It obviously makes no difference what ANYONE says as he is going to continue to stink up the joint (if not with his wrestling than with his booking or choice of talent to hire). Fire and Smoke won. Great logic as the 26 pounders just defeated two HUGE guys, now get squashed. Ridiculous.
The United Nations is out next. Prince Nana and Dan Barry with Destiny and Miss Asia (aka 6th ringpost, Firehawk's wife, and glutton for losing money). Nana and Barry as individual wrestlers are outstanding and as a tag team have proven to be damn good, here as CSWF champions However, that doesn't matter when you are in the ring with the promoter and his friend. No matter how much offense you get on them, the won't sell. Smoke couldn't sell if his life depended on it. Firehawk couldn't even get his friggin ass up to the second rope to go for a splash!! HONEST TO GOD he took two minutes trying to left his right leg up to the second rope!! DOES THAT NOT TELL YOU, AS A WRESTLER, ANYTHING!? At this point, I was more disgusted than Nana. Sonjay Dutt ran in, knocked Barry off the top rope which set up Firehawk for the Bonsai. Shocker, Promoter and friend had to win at least two matches. How could they let any other team in the tournament win more than them?
The Youngbludz (Eckos and Striker) ran in real fast, rolled up Fire and Smoke from behind and won. THANK GOD! Oh, by the way, 5th ringpost Miss Michelle was in their corner.
The Solution, with John Shane entered next. Eckos and Striker took the early advantage (after a series of mirrored moves by Striker and Papadon). With some double teaming, Solution took the upper hand. A chain was soon thrown into the ring and used on Striker. Solution set up Eckos for the Problem Solver. As Papadon came off the top, Eckos leaned back so he missed. Eckos grabbed the chain, and while on Havok's shoulders, pounded him in the head with it. Eckos grabbed the ropes and the ref counted to three. Your winners and new tag team champions.. The Youngbludz...
Wait! Mr. Crowbar comes out to announce that their is one more tag team in the match. Enter America's Most Wanted. America's Most Wanted pretty much destroy Eckos and Striker YET, in order to win, Miss Michelle had to throw a chain into AMW for them to use to set up their finisher. AMW win and become the new CSWF Tag Team Champions. AMW are over. They have improved tremendously as a tag team over the past year. However, to have them come in and destroy the Youngbludz and still have to cheat to win makes no sense. The Miss Michelle "turn" was barely seen bay anyone as she simply tossed a chain to AMW while most of the crowd never noticed.
Post match, Devin Sturgis walked out and, in his monotone voice with no inflection mumbled something no one in the crowd could hear. Michelle then said something about wanting to be with real men. AMW then mentioned how they would show her the true meaning of being tag teamed. At least when AMW got on the mic you could hear them. AMW, heels or not, are still over with the 18 and under female population. As Harris left the ring he did ask a fan "What was that?" (in reference to Sturgis). The fan had no answer.
Intermission. I returned Traci's shoes to her (even though I know I could have made good money with them on EBay!)
The second half of the show begins with Larry Zbyszko announcing to the crowd that Ron Killings was not here. (Good time to tell everyone, after intermission, so no one can dare ask for a refund if, God forbid, they actually came to see Killings). Larry announced that Darkbird would face Slyk Wagner Brown in the main event.
Crazy Ivan with Destiny and Miss Asia defeated Josh Daniels by DQ when Daniels accidentally hit the ref. Daniels is a phenomenal performer and has wrestled all over the world. Now he is in Wayne, NJ against Crazy Ivan. Actually, Ivan is not a bad worker at all. If you ever saw his Yardville matches, and his 2" vertical, you would see how much improvement he has made. Either way, Ivan wins via DQ.
Traci Brooks is introduced and is accompanied by her valet, Michael Shane. While Michael and Traci are walking around ringside, April runs out and attacks from behind. Michael Shane pulls April off and Slyk runs out to help. Larry Z comes out and orders both men back to the locker room. Once again, I won't lie to you, I didn't write down one damn note about this match as I was more interested in watching it than worrying about having to write about it later. Hell, this is the match I came back to live wrestling to see. April immediately started ripping off Traci's shirt. She then went for Traci's pants, and luckily for us, she pulled them down a little too far! WE LOVE YOU APRIL! LOL. Traci with a few hair biels and cheating as often as possible. April with a nice series of armdrags. Of course, the Wayne crowd, being avid WRESTLING fans had to start a few "We want puppies" chants. Traci had her leg across April's throat and held the refs face in her chest to prevent him from seeing it. At one point, Mr. Crowbar tripped April, giving Traci the upper hand again. Michael Shane made his way back to ringside and got on the ring apron. Traci whipped April toward Shane. April reversed but Traci stopped before running into Shane. April ran from behind, knocking Traci into Shane, and nailing her with the Skinner reverse DDT for the pinfall. Your winner... April Hunter!!
Next up was a four way match with Grim Reefer (with Nick Maddox) vs. Ken Scampi (with Tara Charisma) vs. Nick Berk vs Sonjay Dutt. Once again, no rules were announced so we will just guess that it is one fall. Nick Berk is as good as ever. He was always a solid worker and remains a solid worker. Sonjay is simply one of the best on the indy scene today and it was good to see him back here (if only because H2Wrestling canceled). Ken Scampi seems to get better every match. As for Reefer, I've enjoyed him since his DogHouse days. Fast paced match. Some good no selling by some. Sonjay gets the win, pinning Reefer after distraction from Michael Shane.
After the match, Reefer and Shane have to be pulled apart by security. It is then announced that on August 28th, at "CyberCade", Michael Shane will defend his title against Reefer in a ladder match. OK.. Last show, Shane defeated Reefer. This show, Sonjay defeated Reefer. Yet Reefer gets the title shot at "CyberCade". Dave, Firehawk, feel free to fill me in on his booking as all of us missed the boat. Or did we?
Slyk Wagner Brown enters the ring for his match with Darkbird. Darkbird then enters the ring, doing the "Bang" sign. Darkbird unmasks to reveal that he is KANYON! (somehow this was the worst kept secret in the wrestling world as everyone seemed to know it was going to be him long before tonight). Kanyon looked great and announced that he knew we all expected DDP but instead were getting him. Solid match by both men. Kanyon kept the offensive for most of the match. Lots of two counts. Slyk was able to hit his leg lariat but missed with his springboard Asai moonsault. Kanyon hoisted Slyk up onto his shoulders and climbed to the second rope. Slyk reversed it into a powerbomb. Kanyon reached into his tights to pull out a chain. The chain would not untie from his tights but he was still able to hit Slyk with it. Two count. Kanyon, now frustrated, grabbed two chairs and slid them in the ring. As he went to hit Slyk with one, the ref pulled it out of his hands. Kanyon turned around, only to be DDT's onto the other chair. Two count! On a television by the announcer's table DDP appeared. DDP announced that he would be at CSWF's CyberCade to take on Kanyon. Kanyon was distracted by Page's comments, which allowed Slyk to roll him up and become the NEW CSWF Heavyweight Champion. April came out to help Slyk celebrate. Finally, after 3 solid matches with Ron Killings, and having Killings put over, Slyk was given the damn title he deserved since day 1.
After the show, while Kerry stalked April and Slyk. April helped me be the mark that I am by telling Kanyon that there were some marks waiting for his autograph. Kanyon came down and was as awesome as ever as he signed autographs for us. We even talked about the old AOL days when Kanyon had a folder where he answered fans questions, etc. Believe it or not.. Brams and I were actually his "boss" as we ran the AOL Wrestling Area at that time. (and for those of you who never experienced it, it was simply amazing. At one point we had folders hosted by Kanyon, Lou Thesz, Joe Pedicino, DDP and Kimberly, Missy Hyatt, Brian Pillman, Mark Mero, Mero, Der Wonderkin Alex Wright, and James Van Den Berg (James Mitchell). If that was not a who's who of talent from that time, I don't know what was. It was a great time and we made a lot of great friends out of it.. ahh the good old days)
The show ran very, very long. The 40 minute Tag Team Turmoil To Put Over The Promoter Match didn't help any. The Julio, after killing the crowd every month, still being allowed to go on 10 minute mic tirades didn't help. The lack of introduction of Maison didn't help. The wasted interview/angle after the AMW win didn't help. The whole get rid of one belt to give Michael Shane another belt didn't help. Not only did these things not help the running time of the show but the served no purpose on the show whatsoever.
With the exception of the 40 minute tag team match from hell and the Julio/Doring match, the matches were solid. Slyk and Kanyon had a great match. What more would you expect from two wrestlers of this caliber? The 4 way was fast paced and all four men did a good job. April and Traci are two of the best women wrestlers in the business (or they wouldn't have been ranked #3 and #1 in our Top 50 Women of Indy Wrestling) and they showed why in this match. Ivan v Daniels was short and sweet. Shane v Kruel was match of the night. Tobin v Jaxx was excellent but too short.
Of course, all the great wrestling and matches that take place on CSWF shows are easily overshadowed by all the things that CSWF bookers and promoters continue to make mistakes on. No matter how many times suggestions are made. No matter who makes the suggestions. They are ignored. This is Dave Levy's and Firehawk's world and they will do what they want to put themselves and their friends over no matter how much it may hurt a show. (and I do not hold Levy as responsible for any of this as I do Firehawk because I am SURE, as main money man (or married to the money) he has final say in most of what happens). The fact that CSWF has yet to break the 200 mark obviously doesn't matter to them. If it did, they would make changes. The fact that they could probably book Jesus v Satan or Michael Moore v George Bush and still only draw 150 doesn't matter to them. The fact that there is NO way humanly possible, looking at the quality of (and amount of non quality) people that they bring in, that they have made a dime promoting shows thus far obviously means nothing.
If the shows are as bad as I say, why do I continue to go to the CSWF shows? I enjoy watching people that I admire, and who's work I enjoy, wrestle. People like April Hunter, Slyk Wagner Brown, Prince Nana, Sonjay Dutt, Michael Shane, Traci Brooks, Mike Kruel, Mike Tobin, Matt Striker, and even the Himalaya Playaz, when put into the ring with a decent opponent, can put on spectacular matches. Call me a mark, but I enjoy spectacular wrestling matches! For me, that outweighs the majority of the horrifying storylines, angles, and booking that CSWF is now famous for.
"The Crew" started it's days at the old Dennis Corraluzzo shows in Yardville, NJ. These were some of the worst shows you could ever imagine (although Dennis never booked himself in a 40 minute tag match). As bad as they were, they had some of the best wrestling on them. As bad as they were, we had more fun laughing than you could possibly imagine. Sometimes, the worse the show.. the more fun we have.
It shows that all the money in the world can't buy you decent storylines. Hell, if it could, the WWE would be viewable. Instead, all the money that CSWF keeps pumping into their shows, don't seem to help with egos. Hell, a free show, at a street fair, with no budget, put on a show with more consistency, more storylines that made sense, good wrestling, and a promoter that only wrestled in a 5 minute tag match. I would suggest that Mr Firehawk watch and learn, but he won't. Hell, I even made the effort to shake his hand as I was leaving. He barely wanted to make the effort. In fact, the only reason he did shake was because someone else was there watching. This is wrestling, not rocket science. If you want the fans to "put money in your pocket" don't treat them like morons. Don't continuously do whatever you want to do to put yourself and your friends over. Don't keep bringing in the same non talent that works for every other promotion in the tri state area. What does that bring to your show? Nothing... not even fans.
And thus concludes my last live show for the foreseeable future... or until one HELL of a lineup comes around.
Let the trash talking commence...
Brett
