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WEW (no longer wanting to be called Women's Extreme Wrestling)
Saturday, May 7 2005
Today's Crew consisted of Frank, Joe, and myself. Ron blew us off to work and Paul blew us off to go to ROH. Their loss.
We arrived in beautiful Philadelphia early so we decided to check out Tony Luke's Sports Bar. This is located directly across the street from Tony Luke's. Since Tony Luke's was packed, we decided to go here to eat and try and catch the Kentucky Derby. After being told by the waitress "I hate to sound rude but we have to count up our receipts and tips and record them for the day" we paid and left. Hell, we had been there an hour tops and they're telling us to get out? No loss, just theirs since we were drinking.
Still early we decided to go to the next best place to watch the Kentucky Derby... Cheerleaders. Needless to say, Joe won no money whatsoever on the Derby but lost some money on a few girls. By the way, to Hells Belles, Peaches says hello.
We arrived at the Electric Factory in Philadelphia, Pa at 8:30 and used our handy printed out coupons from the WEW website to get in for FREE. Nice touch by WEW to give General Admission tickets away for free. This time, after a very strict security check last time, we left out cameras and such at home. Of course, this time, they allowed cameras. (So much for my getting my pic with So Cal Val!) However, they did not allow Sharpies. I don't get the logic but who am I to argue. I'm just a fan.
Some of the girls were signing autographs and taking pictures. I was able to find So Cal Val (who I am currently a mark for lol) and headed over that way. She commented on my shirt (I was wearing a Chris Candido one) but before I got to say anything I started talking to Ed Darcey (Team Blondage stalker lol). Next thing I knew, the girls were packed up and gone. Damn you Ed!!! LOL (BTW Ed, send me an email so I have yours!)
Thanks to photographer extraordinaire, Eric Shafer, for the results that I can now comment on!
Schedule bell time 9pm, show start 15 minutes late.
Ring Announcer: Bob Arteese
Referee: Isis, Ref Bunny, Stevie Wonderful, and the bald heel ref that
always counts fast for the heels and slow for the faces which kind of
kills every match he works.
Luminaries in attendance: Alicia, Luscious Lily (who got a Luscious Lily
chant from some fans during the night),
The show opened with Bob Artese asking everyone to please rise as the
entire WEW roster comes out to the stage to honor the late Chris Candido.
Tammy Sytch led the roster out onto the stage. She made her way to the
ring where she told the fans how Candido loved each and every one of them.
Tammy was wearing Candido's gold ring jacket (his very first ring jacket)
and was holding the towel he carried to the ring. She invited Francince
to come into the ring as she "took care of Chris" when Tammy
was not on the road and even slept in the same hotel room and Tammy never
thought anything of it. That earned a few laughs from Tammy, Francine,
and the crowd. The 10 bell salute followed along with a Candido chant.
In what seemed to be a "dark" match, April pinned Lacey. Good
match but very short. Why this match seemed to take place prior to the
actual "taping" is beyond me. April seemed to lose some hair
in the ropes at one point.
There was then some mic problems so Nurse something started dancing for
what seemed like an eternity.
Tara and Brittney the Schoolgirl got into a mini brawl. It was soon pulled
apart by security. We never saw Brittney again all night. There goes the
advertised match between those two.
ODB beat Pussy Willow (aka Bobcat). ODB "peed" in a film container
prior to the match to prove she wasn't on any illegal substances. Finish
came when ODB hit Pussy WIllow with a hypedermic needle (which many fans
thought was a tampon). After the match, So Cal Val, threw the urine in
ODB's face.
GI Ho took on Crystal Carmichael in a HARDCORE BREAST AND BOOTY CHALLENGE.
Blind referee Stevie Wonderful felt each girls assests and awarded each
one a winner on different assets. I guess that was a tie? (They seem to
film a LOT of stuff backstage that the crowd never sees or knows about
until the PPV actually airs. How brilliant. Ugh)
Bobbi Jo Dollar III (aka Persephone) beat Lollipop. I didn't quite understand
the gimmick here. It was called an "Indecent Proposal" match.
Something about if someone lost someone would have to have sex with someone
else in the ring. Let's get realsitic. That ain't happening. In the end,
BJD wins and chooses Ellie Mae to come out but some of the PWO girls come
out instead and start making out in the ring.
The main event of the first taping (which we are assuming since they never
really said anything) was an elimination match for vacant WEW Title. It
was advertised as a cage match but who sticks with advertised matches
anymore? Jazz v FBI Angel Orsini (Riptide) v Mercedes Martinez v Simply
Luscious.
Simply Luscious pinned Mercedes Martinez about 2 minutes into the match. What a waste of good talent. Oh wait! This is WEW. They don't look for wrestling they are focusing more on T and A. Good luck getting on Spike!
Angel Orsini then pinned Simply Luscious.
Finally, Jazz defeated Angel to win the title.
--------
What we assume is the second taping saw.
Amy Lee beat the living hell out of Ho Bo then make her submit. Ho Bo
was no match for Amy Lee who attacked her from behind, on the stage, with
a singapore cane. Lee beat her inside and outside of the ring before making
her tap. Good brawl.
Bobby Jo Dollar III beat Crystal Carmichael then paid off ref Pistol Pete
McGraw, who sucked anyhow.
Talia (w/Nick Berk & Tammy Sytch) beat Mercedes Martinez. I'm not
even going to ask why you bring in someone as talented as Mercedes Martinez
and have her job to Talia. Why Nick Berk was there was anybody's guess.
Tammy did her share of interferring on Talia's behalf.
Benjy from the Howard Stern show comes out but is attacked by Hells Belles.
They pants him. He then runs to the back and they tell him he better choose
one hell of a partner for later on tonight.
At some point Hells Belles is stripped of the tag team titles. Keep in mind, we never see this nor do we know why. Ring announcer Bob Artese simply announces "By the way, Hells Belles were stripped of the tag titles a little while ago".
This logically leads us to Team Blondage defeating Nav-A-Ho & Cle-Ho-Patra
for the vacated tag belts in a decent match.
Jazz defeated Simply Luscious to retain the WEW Title in the main event
of taping #2?
-------
This could be the 3rd taping. Who knows? It's approaching midnight.
Ellie Mae McDonald beat Hobo. I went to the bathroom during this match
but was amazed to see the joy on one NJ promoters face at the sight of
the morbidly obese Ellie Mae pulling down her overalls and showing ass
(and threatening to show more). That says more than I ever wanted to know
about that promoter.
ODB beat Lacey & Lollipop in a "low blow's are legal" match.
Amazingly enough, no one hit anyone in the match with a low blow. In fact,
if they did, would it hurt considering they are all female?? Ref got low
blowed after a fast count.
April Hunter beat Cle-Ho-Patra in a loser leaves WEW match. So first we
throw April in the dark match. Now we throw her in with Cle-Ho-Patra,
who is nowhere in the same league? April dominated and made Ho tap with
a single leg boston crab. It took Ho WAY too long to tap (considering
April supposedly tapped out to Jazz a week or so ago in a matter of seconds
:) Some wise ass fans were chanting for Slyck and picking on April for
a lot of the match.
Francine beat Valerie Elizabeth Wyndham (So Cal Val) in a kiss my foot
match to regain title of General Manager. Not only did I not get my picture
taken with So Cal Val, nor did I get to even speak with her and introduce
myself, but she jobbed to Francine? Could anything worse possible go wrong?
Oh wait. Francine hiked up her shorts for Val to kiss her ass after the
match. I spoke too soon.
Hardcore Champ GI Ho beat Amy Lee & Navaho in a strap match. GI HO's
entrance was longer than the match. Ho grabbed a guitar, smacked Amy Lee
in the back, and pinned her. Kudos to Lee for selling such a horrible
guitar shot and finish. BTW, Ho has her own personal rapper who comes
out with her, rapping. Is it too late for more beer?
Team Blondage beat FBI (Angel Orsini & Little Jeannie) to retain tag
belts. This time we have 4 women who can work in the ring and it showed.
Very good match only outshined by the guy at ringside (who resembled the
little claymation characeter from the 7Up or Sprite commercials) yelling
"Hey Bef, Hey Bef" throughout the match. He then began yelling
"Yo Italian lady who's name I don't know" before he broke into
the entire closing monologue from Rocky. Team Blondage did retain the
tag titles however.
Hells Belles beat Benjy & The Smoke. When you announce a mystery partner,
and build it up on your website to be (and I quote) "The list of
names grows, Wendi Richter, Fabulous Moolah, Sgt. Slaughter, John McEnroe,
Jose Canseco, Kamala, Tony Atlas, King Kong Bundy, The Macho Man, OJ Simpson,
Brittney Spears, George "The Animal Steele, Disco Inferno, The Iron
Shiek, Michael Jackson, Terry Funk, Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler, Beetle
Juice, John "The Studderer,Jackie Chan, Chyna aka Joanie Lauer, Mini
Me or Tonya Harding! Just who will it be? or is it a complete mystery?"..
who else would you put in there? The Smoke. The Smoke has sucked for his
entire tenure as a wrestler and continues the tradition tonight. Luckilly,
it was pretty fast as Hells Bells dominated and made them both quit after
testicular claws.
Show ended at 1:45 am. We hung around for a few minutes afterwards to
say hi to a few people (namely Luscious Lily). A fun evening if you go
not expecting much, which is what we did. Nice to see Tammy at the show.
Also nice to finally see so many people I had only heard about, in action
in person. (even if I never got my pic with So Cal Val!). Arrived home
at 5 am and was awoken at 9:15 by a phone call from Ron! THANKS RON!!
