WWA "The Revolution", February 24th, 2002; The Aladdin Casino & Resort, Las Vegas.

( Available at most tape traders, but the one who gets the cheap pop this time is my good friend Simon at www.simania.co.uk ! )

Well, this is Peter Staniforth here; with something between a video review and an experiment. I have, as my co-host and partner in crime; the somewhat loveable and rather talented professional wrestler Kriss Sprules. Both of us could be described as "EWR-heads", and that and a love of this business is what has brought us to this defining moment in journalistic history - the joint review that borders on a conversation. The journalist and the wrestler, the pencil and the muscle; the.... oh, you get the idea. And it's never been done before, this is a first in the history of professional wrestling; and there are 50,000 people watching here (oh god, I've been taken over by the voice of Tony Schiavone!). Anyway, this is a review of a promotion that's no longer with us as such; the World Wrestling Allstars and their pay-per-view 'The Revolution'.

KRISS : - Its best I get this out of the way first – this PPV isn’t, by any means; the best of all time.

PETER : - Oh Kriss, you illusion shatterer. You could have waited a sentence or two, before hitting the reader with that!

KRISS : - Sorry Pete. But if you’re into stories, then you’ll be disappointed – this isn’t Jackanory. The show begins with an announcement from Andrew McManus, brother of Rove; (for all you Aussie chat show fans out there) who says that negotiations fell through with Randy Savage. In other words, the epitome of bitterness demanded far too much money.

PETER : - Hey, my thoughts are simple - be grateful. He might have attempted to rap. To paraphrase Diamond Dallas Page, "that's not a bad thing, that's a....really scary thing that needs to be stopped from ever happening again".

KRISS : - On the subject of music, then a really bad band plays. No offence to these guys but I’ll never understand how they got the gig. They’re called Tantric, which seems appropriate; because this song feels like it goes on forever. I’ve heard better bands down my local.

PETER : - Let's forget the band, please. Everyone else has. Mentioning their performance is more than they deserve. Any band that played in my local pub that badly, would most likely have glasses and bottles thrown at them. Now, THAT'S hardcore! On with the matches I think.....

*Cruiserweight Survival Elimination Match" - AJ Styles vs Chris Daniels vs Low Ki vs Shark Boy vs Tony Marmaluke vs Nova.

PETER : - Sorry, I can't talk right now; the concept has me slobbering and drooling like a teenage mark over a WWE Diva's video. If this was EWR, it would be my main event.

KRISS : - You’ll probably want to stop drooling now – it isn’t good for the keyboard… unless you have one of those flashy waterproof ones. If you do, well la-dee-da Mr. Moneybags.

PETER : - That rules me out, when was the last time you heard of a rich wrestling journalist? But you cant kill my buzz, I'm still really up for this!

KRISS : - For those of you who enjoy spot fests, this match will be your dream come true. For the rest of us, at least it has Nova – who really is the best thing about this match. Actually, he’s a nice guy and I’m a big fan of his work. If you ever get the opportunity to meet him, I suggest you take it. A lot of people seem to think Chris Benoit has been wasted in McMahon land. Well, Nova has been in OVW since a week after this PPV and he still hasn’t been formally debuted on WWE TV. A few Velocity appearances, sure; but talk about wasted talent – this man is the epitome of wasted talent.

PETER : - Agreed, but for me the star of the show is a friend of mine; Shark Boy. Where's his break? Wow, slapped by a bloke with a big nose on RAW whilst 'hanging out' with Maven and subsequently let go; then again by WWE standards maybe that IS a push. Mark for the Shark! Mark for the Shark!

KRISS : - For fans of spotty matches, this is a treat; otherwise, you’ll want to stay well clear. Want a story? Well, you can probably read the entire Roger Red Hat series in the time this match wastes on this card. And you’ll definitely have a better experience.

PETER : - If we're talking children's books then can I suggest 'Spot the Dog' on behalf of my four year old son? Mind you, I know another book that's of a child's reading level content wise; but not even young children want to read Hulk Hogan's autobiography as they know it falls into the fiction category of a shop's display shelf. Well, seeing as I know what's to come from match quality in this review; and seeing as I mark for most of the workers in this match - I'll paint a slightly more positive picture, but Kriss's point of a distinct lack of psychology is right on the mark.

KRISS : - Next up, it’s time for Bret Hart to have a whinge. Don’t get me wrong, I like Bret Hart, I really do. Hell, when I was a boy; I wanted to be The Hitman. Those shades were just so damn cool.

PETER : - I wanted to be Owen. I had childhood dreams of being a superhero like The Blue Blazer, and then I just wanted Owen to get the credit he deserved and not be seen as "Bret's brother".

KRISS : - Anyway, Bret came out at this point, sans shades, to whine on about Osama Bin Laden and to point out that Canada beat the USA at Ice hockey. Yay. But what does that have to do with wrestling? Can he not read the marquee?

PETER : - Cheap pops, my friend. Admittedly, this attempt at a cheap pop was more like a firework that was manically depressed but that's neither here nor there.

KRISS : - Anyhow, Bret is the commissioner, and he has a solution to the Randy Savage problem – Brian Lawler will face Jeff Jarrett for the WWA Heavyweight Title. Yippee – now that’s a real match.

PETER : - It's a strange world when 'Lawler's Kid' is seen as a replacement for a name (however washed up) as Randy Savage. That's for sure. Still, I have faith in Jarrett's carrying abilties. Oh my god! Is that Hulk Hogan on the screen? No, it can't be can it?; I haven't had the urge to switch off yet....

KRISS : - I think you need those reading glasses checked.... It's ‘The Funkster’ (AKA Alan Funk doing a scarily accurate Hogan impression) coaching Teo & Puppet. He mentions something about lifting a 700 pound man over his head and his 24-inch pythons. For a minute, I’m not so sure it isn’t Hogan.

PETER : - Well, I hope it isn't. That's one of the reasons I got into indy wrestling all those years back, to get away from him! Anyways, ring that bell; it's match time.

* The Funkster vs Reno *

KRISS : - I gotta say, Alan Funk’s Funkster gimmick really is funny. It’s worth the price of the tape alone. He’s got Hogan’s mannerisms down so well, if he were eight inches taller and 100lbs heavier, you’d never tell the difference.

PETER : - Yes you would. Funk can work.....

KRISS : - Chill, Pete; lawsuits aren't fun. You wouldn't want Lawsuit-A-Mania to run wild on you, would you?! He’s fighting Reno, who is announced as being from Vegas; but I’m sure he was ‘from’ Atlantic City when he was in WCW. Somebody find this guy a AA meeting…and they thought Paul Merson had a problem....

PETER : - Hey, a soccer reference. That's what's great about being British, we can mention soccer and go right over the heads of most readers! Still, it's only how we feel when WWE run angles based on who ever the local basketball/football/hockey/baseball team are in the town that Raw or Smackdown is running in.....

KRISS : - Anyway, this match is fairly passable. If you loved watching WCW Thunder circa 1999-2000, you’ll wet yourself with excitement over this. It really does scream of Russo-era WCW. For those of us who remember when WCW was watchable, you’ll probably still get a kick out of the Funkster. Oh, and by the way; I still cringe at Reno’s execution of the E.L.E. Sorry, the ‘Roll Of The Dice’....

PETER : - Well, you know something Mean Kriss.... Eew, I feel sick now. Just be grateful this wasn't shown on UK television; like Thunder was at one point on Channel Five. Batman sound effects put up on the screen with 'Bang', 'Pow', and 'Ka-Zowee'; still give me scary flashbacks even now. Reno is now, where Palumbo and other 'Natural Born Thrillers/Rating Killers' deserve to be. I've seen far worse matches though, so let's be gentle with this one.

KRISS : - At this point, Big Poppa Pump arrives in the building; coming out of his limo with 5 lovely young hookers and Midajah. Yep, I’m grading this on the chicks.

PETER : - A perfectly sane thing to do, and I'm sure their upper bodies were more natural than Steiner's. Still, I'm a happily engaged daddy of two; so I don't look at such young ladies (unless their name is Molly, Lillian; or April Hunter!).

KRISS : - At this point, Disco Inferno comes out and bitches. He has no match because Lawler was moved to the main event, and he thinks he deserves the title shot more. He sounds like he actually believes the words coming from his mouth, too. Get over yourself Gilberti, because that’s the only form of getting over you’re ever likely to do.

PETER : - Sometimes, the truth hurts more than a CZW chair shot. Kriss, you're the man!

KRISS : - Thanks Pete. Disco lays down an open challenge and joins the atrocious commentary team of Jeremy Borash and Mark Madden, making it the worst three man commentary team since Scott Hudson, Stevie Ray and Steve 'Mongo' McMichael in WCW.

PETER : - If it had been down to me, WCW would have worked with one commentator alone; the downright God-like behind a microphone and personal friend of yours truly - Mike 'The Professor' Tenay.

* Native Blood vs Kronik *

KRISS : - I know what you’re thinking – “Oh dear God no, not Kronik". Well, I’m going to let you in on a secret… Native Blood are actually worse than KroniK could ever dream of being. This could actually be the worst tag match of all time – I’m not lying to you. You should probably buy this tape just so you can say you witnessed it.

PETER : - It's really hard to argue with you. Both teams remind you of a ice cube sales man in the Antartic - they're not selling a thing. I can see the thinking behind the Kronik gimmick though, and all the subconscious drug references - you'd have had to have been high to appreciate their wrestling or remember the last time Brian Adams was involved in a ** match or above (probably in PNW at the beginning of his career?).

KRISS : - You're in a real tactful mood today, what have I told you about lawsuits and behaving yourself? At this point, Teo the Midget Killer is backstage talking to Terry Taylor. He mentions his love for killing midgets, and sings some of the US national anthem. I’m just not doing this justice, but he’s a really angry dude; and this is an awesome promo – one of the very best ever outside of the big three.

PETER : - I mean midgets no offence at all, as some can work really well; but my views on midget wrestling have been stained (oh, that's the wrong word entirely!) by the infamous midget in a trash can incident on NWA-TNA. I just can't handle anything midget related after that...

KRISS : - Eeew, Pete! Maybe you should stick with the insults. Some random slappers called the ‘Starettes’ (AKA the Discount Nitro Girls) do a little dancing. It happens twice on the show and it’s a good solution to the ever-present problem of ‘if I take a wizz break at this point during a PPV, will I miss anything?’. I’m not going to grade either performance. They just aren’t worth rating. Okay, they might have been, but I was taking one of the aforementioned wizz breaks.

PETER : - It happens to the best of us. Me, I just go for a wizz when a McMahon comes within 100 yards of a microphone. Why don't you tell them what a slapper is? Actually, don't; I like writing for websites - make the reader email one of us to find out!

* Teo vs Puppet *

KRISS : - The midgets are out, and they’re fighting – hardcore style. This match really annoyed me, as it’s among the best matches on the card, but it’s ruined by Madden and Disco making midget jokes. These guys worked their asses off in this one, they even worked the crowd, but the moronic duo managed to kill any possible enjoyment of the match.

PETER : - For a minute then, I thought you were talking about women's matches on Raw; and the fact that Jerry Lawler has been irrelevant since 1993. But it's true, what's being pushed subconsiously into your mind via commentary can affect your viewing of a match.

KRISS : - However, if you mute the sound; this match is reminiscent of the Foley-Funk death matches from Japan. Extremely violent and very entertaining. One of the midgets even comes off of the top rope. This guy is four foot tall, and he’s coming from twelve feet in the air – to the outside! Well worth the price of the video just for this match. If this had happened in the WWE, the international press would’ve been all over it. When it happens in the WWA, it only gets a footnote; even in the most comprehensive reports.

PETER : - Well in this review, we don't short change anything. Oh god, now I'm at it.... I hear you have a deep dark secret, a confession to make Kriss?

KRISS : - I can’t hide it any longer – I’m a huge Steiner Brothers mark, but particularly for Scotty. He comes out at this point to beat the hell out of the midgets. They didn’t deserve it, but it’s one of the few pieces that actually achieve storyline advancement; making Scotty look like a huge, untamed animal. Then he takes Gilberti’s open challenge and beats the same out of him. Gotta love Big Poppa Pump.

PETER : - I may just pass on that one myself, but knocking the Disco around is something that made Steiner's presence more bearable than usual for me. If only he'd decided to shoot on HHH like some of us hoped he would upon joining WWE, then I'd have marked for him!

* WWA Cruiserweight Title - Juventud Guerrera vs Psicosis vs Eddie Guerrero *

PETER : - Ouch. I just fell off the chair marking out.... Juvi! Eddie! Psy--chie?? Either ways, I'm sure up for this one.

KRISS : - Okay, I admit it - I marked out when they announced this one, too. But I was to be disappointed. This match was very average. I have to ask – how the HELL do you put three Mexican cruiserweight legends of recent times in the same match and have it only be average? Terry Taylor and his team have a lot to answer for. The Juice is at his best here, and Eddy almost is; but Psicosis just doesn’t try. Could’ve been so much better, really it could; but for me this one failed.

PETER : - Whilst admittedly, it doesn't live up to the expectations that were there; this was still good for me. Though maybe I'm a little biased, as I've always loved Eddie's work; and my fiancee' Chrissie would kill me if I said anything bad about Juvi.

KRISS : - Eddy then takes the mic, and cuts a worked shoot promo about his personal problems (You know, his addiction to painkillers, the same one they played up recently in the angle with Brock) and such like. Jerry Lynn comes out, doing the one thing he should never be allowed to do – talking.

PETER : - Personally, I've always felt Lynn's vocal abilities have been wrongly stated; I feel there are a lot of people who should be kept further away from a microphone than him.

KRISS : - Actually, this promo is one of Lynn’s better ones. He goes on about Eddie being a disgrace to his heritage, and how he only got his shots with the WWF, WCW and ECW because of the Guerrero family name. I assume they were pushing Lynn as some kind of blind, stupid monkey who had been in a coma forever, because everyone else knows that Eddy is among the best of all time. Anyway, they have a fight, handbags really; before the artist formerly known as Mr. J.L. drops Eddie with the Cradle piledriver.

PETER : - The one grouch you could have with that segment, is as Kriss said; the fact that Lynn looked rather daft in his reference to how Eddie's got work. Someone as credible in-ring as Jerry Lynn shouldnt be fed lines like this, that's for sure.

* Devon Storm vs Sabu *

KRISS : - According to Mark Madden, Crowbar isn’t a psychopath anymore; he’s all, you know, methodical, and stuff. Strange really, because within 5 minutes; these guys are just hitting each other with anything possible. This match is actually quite good, though. For anyone who has never seen Sabu & Fonzie (there are a few) this tells you everything you need to know, and more.

PETER : - Well, that's spooked me out. I thought everyone had seen Sabu. Sabu, back in 1993, was responsible for me discovering Japanese wrestling; and in 1995 I was at his first European show in London and front row to boot. Whilst he may be washed up in comparison now, at his peak - he was groundbreaking.

KRISS : - This is truly vintage Sabu. He hits the Arabian Facebuster, the Air Sabu and the Triple Jump Moonsault; uses a chair, and busts a couple of tables. Definitely worth seeing, because he comes off of the video screen to hit the Arabian Facebuster on Devon Storm through a table after the match.

PETER : - It sure works for me. I really enjoyed this match, and it brightened up my mood considerably.

KRISS : - Now the entire PPV gets ruined by a problem that appears to be plaguing wrestling of late – ‘Ohmygodthebookerisamoronitis.’ For some reason, Taylor & Co decided it’d be a brilliant idea to allow Larry Zbysko to shoot on Vince McMahon, breaking the first rule of booking – never acknowledge your competition. He basically called McMahon out – and there is probably more chance of my being asked to team with William Regal & the British Bulldogs to face the original Four Horsemen at Wrestlemania 20 than there ever was of McMahon actually lowering himself to appear on a WWA show just to fight a bitter washed up old fool who has been calling himself ‘The Living Legend’ ever since the year dot.

PETER : - Seeing as I have the pleasure of knowing the Regal family in the past, maybe I'll look into that tag team for you! Although I'm old school in a lot of ways, Zbyszko never appealed to me. I'd have left him on the golf course myself, whatever handicap he is in golf surely doesn't begin to cover how much of one he was to this show.

KRISS : - Saying that, usually Zbysko’s promos are quite good, but not this one. This one is just ludicrous.

* West Hollywood Blondes vs Rick Steiner & Ernest 'The Cat' Miller *

KRISS : - This match lasts just 57 seconds, which is a shame. It could’ve been quite good if they’d given it the time. Steiner & The Cat squash Lenny & Lodi quickly. Which sucked, I like Lenny & Lodi, they were entertaining back in the day.

PETER : - I do agree. Both are people that are friends with some of my 'peeps', and both are underrated talents of this business who's gimmick and character has sadly drawn away people from their wrestling ability.

KRISS : - For those of you who never saw them in WCW, they were like Billy & Chuck; only entertaining and passable as a team in the ring. And without a cross-dressing ex-cop as a manager.

PETER : - Ouch, that one's going to hurt. The fact it's true is neither here nor there!

KRISS : - Terry Taylor should visit a church next time he gets asked to book a show, just so he can read the 10 (Wrestling) commandments. He’s broken a few in this show and by my count, he’s broken the first five at this point. This one breaks the fifth – bad booking makes baby Jesus cry. That said, The Cat did beat up Madden after this match – which, I guess; makes it all worthwhile. Or not.

* MAIN EVENT : - WWA HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE - Jeff Jarrett (champion) vs Brian Lawler *

KRISS : - I was looking forward to this match. Despite being relatively young, both these guys seem to have been working forever. Nine times in ten, this match would be the best of the night. Unfortunately, this was that one in ten that sucked more balls than Jasmine St. Clair at her latest World Record attempt.

PETER : - I was looking forward to this too, but only because I'm a bit of a mark for Jarrett. And you're saying it sucked more than Hogan?

KRISS : - I thought I'd explained to you about libel, slander; and lawsuits Pete?! Fans of a certain vintage will remember when Jarrett Sr. & Lawler Sr. owned Memphis, thrilling crowds for two decades with the great matches they worked together as a team and as opponents. These guys were handed the opportunity to do the same in Vegas, but they blew it. It’s not as though it was a bad match, but it was like watching Russo’s WCW again. Twice in one night isn't good on that score.

PETER : - Fans of a certain vintage? Oh, cheers; now I feel REALLY old. I guess I'm twenty-something going on forty-something! Mind you, Russo-booked WCW could make you feel twice that.....

KRISS : - For some unknown reason, two referees started fighting. Slick Johnson was angry because some other ref came in to make a count while he was unconscious on the outside. Does he not understand the way that works? He can’t make the count, so someone else does it for him? The other dude only made it to two, leaving a bad match to get worse. As I say, it wasn’t a bad match as such; but it was let down by Jarrett and Lawler botching every other spot. It was as though they were afraid to hurt each other – well, that’s what you get when you ask two guys who have known each other since they were kids to fight each other.

PETER : - Personally, I thought Jarrett did okay to drag anything at all out of 'Lawler's Kid'. Not the main event you'd look for, hope for; or expect - but with Brian Lawler involved, it was as good as it was going to get.

KRISS : - Lawler blatantly missed the Hip-Hop Drop, while Jarrett’s attempt to hit Lawler with the Stroke onto the belt missed by a mile. And don’t even get me started on Jarrett’s Enzigurai. You really do have to see that one to believe how bad it was.

PETER : - Well Kriss, we've reached the end of the line. Do you want to wrap it up for all those good folks sitting by their PC at home?

KRISS : - I’m going to give this show an average overall grade of C-. It’s not too shabby, and it’s a little better if you’re a fan of spot fests because that’ll probably make the first match an A+ for you; but for the average fan, you might want to give this one a little thought before you part with your cash. This is a good tape for workers, however. The matches are all fairly slow paced (except the first) and it’s easy to pick up a truck load of new tricks from it. (I know I did.)

PETER : - Yeah, even a non-wrestler; a pencil such as myself learned a few bits and pieces too. Not that I'm stepping in a ring anytime soon, but I feel it gives me a little more insight for writing.

KRISS : - If you liked WCW, especially towards the end; this is definitely right up your street. Also, I should point out that although I’ve ragged on Mark Madden a lot; he did manage to produce the line of the night – while the ‘Starettes’ were dancing (Badly, I might add) he quipped 'I'd like to thank Kimberly Page for taking the 15 seconds required to choreograph this number.' I also have to say, it’s a shame WWA aren’t still around. The foundation was there for a top promotion if it had been handled right. Just in case Andrew McManus is reading this – yeah right – if you ever want to bring WWA back, I’d be happy to book it for you. I promise to do a better job than Terry Taylor.

PETER : - But you'd make a great Rooster! Kriss....Kriss, no! Put the chair down! Where's that red hair dye? Maybe one of my promoter friends has a contact for Doink the Clown, I'm sure you'd be more than happy to job; right? Kriss.....I'm joking! No, not a chair shot; I won't sell it..... *WHACK* .....

* ALL FEEDBACK TO : - peterstaniforth@aol.com OR kasprules@hotmail.com *

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Peter Staniforth.
Peter is an English based professional wrestling journalist, currently writing for the following websites : - www.prowrestlingdaily.com, www.wrestlingclothesline.com, www.pwbts.com , and www.ukevents.net.

Peter has written press releases for http://www.eeuroshop.com/?tid=ps101 , the official WWE merchandise outlet for the UK & Europe.

Peter reviews video tapes for the following wrestling tape traders, who come strongly recommended by him - www.simania.co.uk, www.violentjtapes.com, www.bluethundervideo.com, www.modtrom.com (the official video production team behind Jersey All Pro Wrestling), www.a1wrestlingvideos.com, and www.ruffneckwrestlingvideos.co.uk .

Peter is also a booking agent to such names as CZW's Nick Berk (and others), and runs a independent wrestling bookings website for wrestlers - http://www.pstaniforth.vze.com/ . Peter was also mentioned on the credits of the cult PC wrestling simulation game EWR 4.0, by Adam Ryland.

When using any of this information give proper credit to Cactusb and the Wrestling Clothesline at http://www.wrestlingclothesline.com

Questions? Comments? Results? Wrestling Related items? Send them to us here. If we use them on the page you will be given full credit for supplying us with it!