XPW - "Baptized in Blood 2" Video Review.
By P.Staniforth 2004.

It’s a weird life isn’t it? One minute you’re sitting around and thinking ‘What can I write about this time?’, and the next minute a video tape falls right by your head. Strangely, the fact that this particular tape fell out from above and attempted to hit me either says two things - 1) I was destined to review it (for reasons unknown) or 2) I really should find more storage space. But I do have literally hundreds, into the thousands of video tapes mooching around; much to the chagrin of anyone who has ever lived with me - so I guess this incident was to be expected one day.

Either ways, I’m known as a pretty positive reviewer. So I will most likely offend quite a lot of the online wrestling community by attempting to find the plus points in an XPW show, but that’s just how I am. I call things straight, and if I can say something decent then I will. And if I cant, then I guess I’m a somewhat smaller and infinitely more English (and better looking) version of Scott Keith. I guess the other good thing about reviews like this is whilst I try to be looking for the good, I get to practise my sarcasm.

XPW no longer exists, of course. Given the company, and it’s volatile history; more of a bang on it’s way out was probably expected. I’m probably the only person in the whole of the United Kingdom with an XPW t-shirt. But my theories are as follows - I collect obscure indy t-shirts. And a couple of guys that I’m good friends with worked there at various points, so why not? Hell, we all wear WWE t-shirts; but it doesn’t mean we approve of all they do/book/accuse of being for our entertainment.

This is their second ‘King of the Death Matches’ tournament. The first one had it’s quite respectable moments, but it also had it’s moments that are either best forgotten or never known of. Rob Black has done the evil deed of writing himself into the show, but I ask you this - many criticise the promoter or head booker who does this, but how many people given the opportunity to do so TRULY have the restraint to stay out of the picture? I know I’d have a hard time doing so, although luckily for me I have no urge to wrestle or to take bumps and would only be looking at if from a bit of fun perspective and I wouldn’t consider myself a huge part of the show or above the actual wrestlers. So I suppose I’m a 50-50 case. I would say how I’ve spoken with Rob’s mother and Rob himself online once or twice and found them nice enough to speak to, but I guess this isn’t going to win me brownie points with many people. Still, I try not to judge people TOO much if I don’t know them that well personally; and if nothing else a person like Rob Black and his life is manna from heaven for us wrestling journalists.

One side note - I’m not going to ‘***’ star rate these matches. I don’t think it’s suitable in this case. I’ll just say what I think and generally leave the stars to other people on this one. Messiah once said in CZW that he bleeds so you don’t have to. Well, I review these things so you don’t have to!
We start off with a match with the slightly underrated Dynamite D. This guy wasn’t a bad worker, and for someone with an impersonation gimmick was rather amusing. Classic wrestlers of the past would get the ‘D’ treatment, and tonight he was the Dynamite Dollar Man - a Ted DiBiase clone. He calls out anyone - an open challenge - (never a bright move in my view) - and gets the infamously legendary (or legendary for being infamous!) New Jack. Strange thing…. Jack throws in an arm drag, and D is working a headlock and arm bar. Hmmm. XPW fans were not known for a love of the scientific, and I can’t imagine why they thought to go this route. We do get a sickle, a VCR; New Jack’s stapler….. and then a chin lock. Oh boy, I’m confused. I don’t know who came up with a lot of this, but when you’re in a fight involving weapons and so forth in ‘real’ life; a chin lock isn’t usually the way to go. Either ways, Jack takes the pin in just under eight minutes with a trash can giving an able assist. And it wasn’t BAD bad, just…. Averagely average. Though I’m going in that little bit lighter, because I spoke with New Jack via email recently and he’s a nice guy from where I’m sitting. (Yes, I DID say that!).

Now the death match tournament part kicks in. I’ve often wondered the use of the word ‘death’, and why; but I guess it’s dramatic advertising at it’s finest. We have Vic Grimes, who’s well known for THAT bump. Kraq is one of a kind, it’s fair to say; but nothing will prepare the person who has never witnessed Angel before for what’s in store. Goldust and Rico suddenly seem macho and manly things to enjoy in comparison to this guy’s gimmick. This is one of those matches that wasn’t meant to last long, and aside from a bed of nails, not much happens until Grimes’s DDT onto Kraq and then a powerbomb onto barbed wire are the beginning of the end for this match; as Grimes hits the splash for the pinfall. Just under four minutes of nothing heavily special.

We then go to ‘White Trash’ Johnny Webb taking on Nosawa. Since XPW, Nosawa has kind of got around on the indy’s and could be described as an offensive Kaientai tribute act. Webb gets DDT’d onto a bed of thumbtacks, but then we have a nightmare blown spot involving a barbed wire ladder that just couldn’t in ANY way have hurt Webb in the way Nosawa used it. I guess that is kind of talented really, to have a spot with a barbed wire ladder and yet make it look as dangerous as a teddy bear. A couple of suplexes, a Michinoku driver on the thumbtacks (hmmm, maybe my Kaientai reference was spot on?); and Webb hits the powerbomb onto the thumbtacks for the pin in eight minutes. Bar the incident (or lack thereof) with the ladder, perfectly…..average hardcore wrestling.

At this point, most people would be like…. “dude, switch the tape off” or have gone to make a cup of tea in all probability. I think it needs to be said that it’s not that this is SO bad as such, it’s just there’s been no major moments to make one ‘mark out’ and for a promotion so based on the promise of controversy; XPW has delivered very little so far on this show. It’s not really appalling, it’s just depressingly indifferent. This statement is proof I try to look for the best in things, as most reviewers would have cursed the show to hell and back by now…….But sadly, the best this tape is looking at so far is being of value to someone like me who will watch literally anything once.

Homeless Jimmy. Imagine, a hardcore Spike Dudley booked as living in a dustbin; and you have Jimmy. And in the other corner, the man who managed to escape being booked to have sexual relations with a mop (and I still feel sorry for Perry Saturn even now); one half of the former Eliminators (of ‘TOTAL ELIMINATION, OH MY GOOOOODDDD!’/Joey Styles fame) - John Kronus. I guess for all that happened and obviously went wrong with Kronus, doing it with a mop was beneath him. Or at least on television. Or at least as far as we know. Anyway, the match…. Er. Yeah. The match. Aside from Kronus looking borderline pregnant (a sad sight), there’s not a lot doing. Broken glass, and a fluorescent light tube come out to play; and this isn’t too bad now. Jimmy hits a bulldog onto Kronus on the glass, and a tope also. This is perking up a little if not much now. Kronus sets up a table, but a Jimmy low blow and bulldog through a table take the pin in just under eight and a half minutes. Curiously, the best match so far. How you take that is entirely up to you.

Rob Black and company now appear to complain of Sabu’s no-show at this point. Josh Lazie appears as Sabu’s manager and cuts a promo, then gets knocked about somewhat. I question the reasoning here, if I was a non-worker I wouldn’t get into an argument outnumbered. Whatever happened to realism?

Another match now, and we have Pogo The Clown (whilst I’m a juggalo, I’m not overly fond of Pogo); and the obviously tough but rather vanilla Steve Rizzono. I’ve never seen a barbed wire shovel before. And I don’t suppose I ever will again. I’m assuming the local shops do a good cheap deal on barbed wire in bulk at this point. The match doesn’t go far without Supreme coming out for no hugely apparent reason, and siding with Pogo in what I could only assume was a thing where hardcore fat boys show love for each other. Supreme is hardcore, no issue from me; but is he talented? Hell no. Rizzono gets barbed wire stuck in his back, and if nothing else; don’t criticise him - respect him for what he’s doing in the name of trying to make this match have some kind of value. Supreme misses a moonsault (well, he hit it apparently - honest guv’nor) for the pin in around nine minutes. I don’t understand the booking here, but hey. Credit to Rizzono, and that’s all you can pull out of the negativity.

Juvi! Juvi! I remember when someone close to me (she remains nameless as death isn’t on my agenda right now) had a thing for Juvi…. Ah well. Kid Kaos is being interviewed about his hurt leg and we end up with an ‘unscheduled’ match. Maybe I’m picky, but Kaos sure is working well for someone with a bad leg. This is quite lively by standard, and has a bit of speed around it compared to all previous matches. Moonsaults, dropkicks, and this isn’t bad. It’s a card filler on a big show, but on a show like this it stands out as high paced action. It won’t go down as a Juvi classic, but one might wonder Juvi’s personal habits at this time; so we’ll go lightly there. The end involves Kaos doing that classic move of all time - the ‘Buff Blockbuster’, and Juvi countering with a Juvi Driver and a kneebar for the tap out. According to Larry Rivera, and I won’t attempt to copy him vocally; ‘this was not violent crap’. I question having a commentator who ‘hates hardcore’ on a show like this, wouldn’t you be better off with two over dramatic shills for the product?

Time for the semi finals of this tournament now. Johnny Webb takes on Supreme. Once again , I state a lack of time and enthusiasm for Supreme. I have respect for any hardcore worker (unlike a few people), but only if he can work as well. If he can’t wrestle a bit, then I’m really not amused myself. Someone has forgotten to tell Supreme that selling is an option at some point and this is starting to finally give me a headache now. Webb is doing his best here, bless his (hardcore) cotton socks; but no-one could make Supreme look like a wrestler - just a hardcore spot monkey. Supreme has an amusing habit of asking ‘who the f*** am I?!’. Well, I’ll assume he had/has memory issues. Today if you asked who he was, people would have a blanker expression than they did then. I don’t want to watch this one again, ever. Though I would at a push, just to show people how to attempt to carry an idiot to a wrestling match. Interestingly, at time of writing this in the year 2004; Supreme has seemingly vanished. Enough said.
We now go to the second semi final, Homeless Jimmy against Vic Grimes. A few moments that literally would make you cringe, will always at least make you remember the match if nothing else; and this match has them. I always sit uncomfortably with the use of pizza cutter’s and cheese grater’s mind you. Jimmy messes up a bump and goes headfirst during a senton onto a railing that’s on Grimes’s body…. Ouch. Nothing more does justice in the English language than ouch does. Bad ending too, in which Grimes drops Jimmy onto Jimmy’s own shopping cart very clumsily. But this wasn’t bad.

We now have the pre main event non-tournament match - Tool vs The Messiah. I don’t need to tell you how or why Messiah left XPW. We all know, and it doesn’t need to be brought up again. Messiah is appreciated now with my boys in CZW and from a personal standpoint; I really like this guy. I want to tell you about this match, but I question the point. Why, you ask? Because it has a McMahon finish. To cut a respectable story short, Messiah hits Tool with the belt and unmasks him; but Tool literally runs and hides at the twelve minute approximately mark to the match and that’s the end of it. Whoever booked the end of this match deserves what nearly happened to Messiah in that infamous attack to actually happen to them, this is booking at it’s most depressing.

And ladies and gents, we have made the final match. I’m off to watch some old school NWA after this, I need to regain my sanity. It’s good being the kind of guy who watches literally anything, as I always have options this way to keep my love of all professional wrestling alive.
Vic Grimes vs Supreme. Your final. Your main event. Your… *insert word here* For some reason I think of THAT moment in the Steve Martin film ‘Planes, Trains & Automobiles’ in the middle of the film. If you’ve watched it, you know. Barbed wire ropes, with a stage of light tubes and glass at the side. I wonder if that will get used, or if it’s just there for effect. You may think I’m being sarcastic here, but this is XPW and they’re known to ‘tease’. Grimes is doing his best here, but again; I just can’t be positive about Supreme. Look for the moment where he slips off the top of a ladder and hits his head on the apron of the ring on the way down - and then you might finally see my point summed up beyond a shadow of a doubt. Your finish has Supreme raising a BIG ladder, Rob Black knocking it over; Supreme actually selling something - and Grimes taking the win. Well, at least Vic won; some consolation for me.

Then it’s the ghost of the worst moment of WCW Nitro re-appearing, as Messiah and Rob Black come out to defend the ‘King of the Deathmatches’ title belt against Vic Grimes. I know it doesn’t make sense. Either ways, if you remember the fingerpoke of doom; I apologise for mentioning it and am only stating that this is what happens. If you’re lucky enough not to remember this low point of history, just fast forward this part for your own sanity. Supreme returns, gets beaten down; and New Jack re-appears to make the save. I don’t know, I really don’t. Why finish a show on the re-hashing of something that was appalling in the first place? It makes you look SOOOOOOOO small time.

All in all, I’ll be nice. Below average. If you’re a collector, an anorak of professional wrestling like myself; then watch it. I’ve done my best to tell you what’s here, and I wouldn’t NOT recommend watching it; I just wouldn’t lie to you and call it compulsive viewing. Do what I did, get given a copy. That’s my advice and I’m sticking to it. I’ve been your reviewer, you’ve been the reader. Let’s keep it that way, as I like the free tapes and don’t want to share!

------------------------------------------------

Peter Staniforth.
Peter is an English based professional wrestling journalist, currently writing for the following websites : - www.prowrestlingdaily.com, www.wrestlingclothesline.com, www.pwbts.com , and www.ukevents.net.

Peter has written press releases for http://www.eeuroshop.com/?tid=ps101 , the official WWE merchandise outlet for the UK & Europe.

Peter reviews video tapes for the following wrestling tape traders, who come strongly recommended by him - www.simania.co.uk, www.violentjtapes.com, www.bluethundervideo.com, www.modtrom.com (the official video production team behind Jersey All Pro Wrestling), www.a1wrestlingvideos.com, and www.ruffneckwrestlingvideos.co.uk .

Peter is also a booking agent to such names as CZW's Nick Berk (and others), and runs a independent wrestling bookings website for wrestlers - http://www.pstaniforth.vze.com/ . Peter was also mentioned on the credits of the cult PC wrestling simulation game EWR 4.0, by Adam Ryland.

When using any of this information give proper credit to Cactusb and the Wrestling Clothesline at http://www.wrestlingclothesline.com

Questions? Comments? Results? Wrestling Related items? Send them to us here. If we use them on the page you will be given full credit for supplying us with it!