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by Alan J. Wojcik of http://alanwojcik.tripod.com
“CLASSIC” COLT CABANA is one of the most popular interview subjects in wrestling. Easy to see why when you meet the man in person. This interview conducted at the 2004 Jeff Peterson Memorial Cup on Saturday June 5, 2004. Since Colt has sat for many full length interviews this will concentrate on the time frame between the 2003 and 2004 JPC events. If you wish to read a full length interview on Cabana’s career see his site http://www.angelfire.com/il2/coltcabana/
Alan Wojcik: Fans of Florida wrestling were introduced to you at last year’s Jeff Peterson Memorial event when you took on Justice in the first round. How does a big man like you adjust to someone as unorthodox as Justice?
Colt Cabana: It takes lots of timing and yoga classes. Joesama Binladen is my yoga instructor and he sat me down. We went over the different ways to wrestle a man like Justice, the different styles of face paint he wears. I went to Clown College to learn the ways; I mentored by Bozo the Clown out of Chicago. He is infamous for the Bozo Buckets. We went over throwing things into different buckets on different games and winning prizes. He told me, “Colt use the power of the Hi Chi.” That’s a clown term I don’t like to use but this is smart mark interview so I can break kayfabe. I used it but I fell to Justice.
AW: On night two you teamed with your Second City Saints confidant CM Punk to take on Scoot “don’t call me Scooter” Andrews and “former Agent” Bruce Steele.
Colt: That was a good night and fun was had by all. Scooter is an excellent wrestler and secret agent man, I remember playing Spy vs Spy with him. It was enjoyable and it warmed me up for tonight’s match with Scoot Andrews.
AW: In August at back to back APW events you took on two interesting wrestlers. On August 16th you took on the man known as “the Future” Frankie Kazarian.
Colt: Frankie was fun to take on in LA. He sat me down and told me the future. He said Colt you’re going to lose and I said get out of here you can’t tell the future. He said he busted out the 1.21 jiggawatts and the flux capacitor and went to the future and saw me get pinned by him with the wave of the future. I didn’t think it was true but he pinned me like he said he would.
AW: Did he give you any notes of the match on 17th when you took on B-Boy?
Colt: Yes he said you will lose to B-Boy since it’s his hometown. B-Boy beat me but I got to wrestle two top California wrestlers. B-Boy was a good challenge and an asskicker who hit me with some Shining Wizards and called it a day.
AW: You recently recovered from a shoulder injury. How did you injure it and what made you decide to work while injured?
Colt: I was trying to do a frankensteiner and I came down on my shoulder. I separated my AC joint. I wrestled through it until two weeks later when I went to do my finish the Colt 45 and the kid I wrestled landed on my other shoulder and busted it up good. I thought I could work through it but after three months I couldn’t hit the gym and my body was going to poo. I thought no one wants to see a flabby Jewish kid wrestle, so I took some time off and went to physical therapy to get them better. Now I am back in action, rocking and rolling like Buck Zumhofe.
AW: Fans in the northeast know you are affiliated with the Ring of Honor based Second City Saints faction. For fans that don’t know please talk about how you and CM Punk became friends and some history on the Saints group.
Colt: Punk and I trained together at the Steel Dominion school run by Ace Steel and Danny Dominion. We have been traveling partners and opponents. When we got to Ring of Honor together we thought two Second City/Chicago boys should have some fun. Punk, Ace and I formed the Saints and we are dominating the world one jabrone at a time.
AW: As a Saints member you have taken on the best ROH has to offer in singles and tag matches sometimes with Punk as your partner. On one occasion you and Punk took on Raven and the “Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels.
Colt: We sure did. To get in the ring with them is feat in itself. Both of them are tremendous wrestlers. We made Daniels bleed his own blood and I don’t think Jesus would like that. Daniels bled from his face not hands.
AW: You have been in several multiple opponent matches. In one match you took on Jimmy Rave, John Walters and Justin Credible. Plus do you like the multiple opponent matches or do your prefer one on one encounters?
Colt: That was a good night. Justin is a great talent that has been everywhere and he’s just 30. It was a short match and was my first time wrestling in New York. What can you say abut Rave and Walters that everyone else hasn’t? I like the four way survival matches since it gets different guys or characters in the ring. Especially when there’s no storyline and the fans get to see great action. I always think back to great ECW four way matches. When it’s a hot blooded feud a single match is good but when you want to see a vast array of styles the four way survival match is your poison.
AW: In another multiple opponent match you took on former NWA World Champion AJ Styles, Matt Stryker and former NWA World X Division champion Chris Sabin. How does Colt cabana work with two former X Division champions?
Colt: Well I’m not too far removed from X Division matches. I put on a couple of lbs. but I like to fly around now and then. That’s not a big issue. I showed them it wasn’t because I won the match.
AW: You have a laid back attitude but what it like to wrestle one of the stiffest guys around Dan Maff?
Colt: I can dish it out as much as I can take it. I am laid back and chilled but I’m not a pussy I’m a professional wrestler.
AW: You and CM Punk are the ROH tag team champions after defeating the Briscoe Brothers.
Colt: That was a great night because we won them in Chicago our hometown. We had a packed house for our first time in Chicago with ROH. The people booed them and cheered us just the way we want it.
AW: This past December ROH and All-Japan ran a event where you and Punk took on Tomoaki Honma and Kazushi Miyamoto.
Colt: Wow you so can’t speak Japanese. It was awesome for all of them to come over for a historic event. The match was great and we got lots of great praise but that whole night was a tribute to the Great Muta. He came back and was appreciated the way he should be.
AW: In ROH CM Punk has been in a war of words with the legendary Ricky “the Dragon” Steamboat. Your thoughts on the escalating war and will you ever be one on one with Steamboat in a match?
Colt: Well I’ve gotten chopped a bunch and hit with armdrags. Ricky Steamboat has a beef with the Saints. Punk has taken out Terry Funk and Raven and Steamboat could be next.
AW: I would be a bad interviewer if I didn’t ask your thoughts on the issues between ROH and its embattled owner Rob Feinstein.
Danny Doring: Colt Cabana has a f@#king horse c#%k and don’t you forget about it.
Colt: Well having that horse c#%k is pretty awesome. I walk around and flop it from side to side like a Muppet. Rob Feinstein has problems but hopefully he can go get some help. Nothing has been verified and until a court decides he needs help.
AW: You have also worked for the mid-western favorite IWA Mid-South. At the second night of the 2004 Ted Petty Invitational you took and won a match over Arik Cannon, Chris Sabin, M Dogg 20, Ken Anderson and Michael Shane.
Colt: What can I say I’m crazy like that! Took them all on and mowed them all out. King Kong ain’t got sh#$ on me, quote me on that one.
AW: Working for IWA you took on a participant in this year’s JPC, Chris Hero.
Colt: Chris Hero has a fantastic knowledge of wrestling. Very Europeanesque (sic) and its nice to see him in Florida. We’ve had some battles, some wars, some whores, porn and drank some Kool Aid.
AW: You also took on another 2004 JPC competitor Jimmy Jacobs.
Colt: He hussed a lot and I pet his boots.
AW: On the first night (6/4/04) of this years JPC event you took on former NWA World Jr. Heavyweight and IPW World Heavyweight champion Lex Lovett.
Colt: I am a big fan of his music and I can’t believe he was married to Julia Roberts.
AW: Not Lyle Lovett, Lex Lovett.
Colt: I love that human torture rack I can’t believe he joined the four horsemen.
AW: Not Lex Luger, LEX LOVETT.
Colt: Lex Lovett was awesome. He also worked in Japan as Lex Meyer. He is a heck of a competitor and I think he’ll go far in the business.
AW: You have had several Xplosion matches for NWA: TNA. If TNA or the WWE called you tomorrow and asked you to sign with them would you?
Colt: I don’t know if they want to make me a millionaire sure. That’s a hard question to answer. You would have to check with my agent on that.
AW: Of all the promotions you have worked for is there one you think the internet and the media have overlooked?
Danny Doring walks by with his pants down to his ankles
AW: Jesus Christ, cover your eyes.
Colt: Actually Jesus Christ was a horrible promoter he didn’t pay me and when he did his checks bounced. I would have to say Mid America Wrestling of Milwaukee. I think Carmine DeSpirito has a great mind for the business. He should get more props then he does.
AW: I have been told you are a big ribber. If we can protect the names of the victims can you talk about your biggest rib you were successful in pulling?
Colt: Sure there was once this guy that interviewed me and afterwards I stripped him buck naked and tossed him in a river.
AW: Who designed your website (see the address above) and how much input do you have in its content?
Colt: Punchy MacGallihan who is a construction worker from New Zealand designed it for me. You can find my schedule, my merchandise as well as how many midgets I have had sex with and how many more I am going to have sex with.
AW: When Colt Cabana isn’t beating people up what is a typical day like in his life?
Zach Gowen walks by.
Colt: I have three ways with Zach Gowen. I also like to play with my muppet collection, spin my dradels, have push pin competitions and flick my nipples.
AW: Has there ever been a time when a fan said something that made you break character?
Colt: Since I am my own character and I have broken myself in Crenshaw.
AW: Was there ever a time when an interviewer asked you something that made you want to leave the interview?
Colt: How many have you asked me today?
AW: In closing what do you hope the future holds for Colt Cabana?
Colt: I want to be a millionaire and make every single fan out there happy.
Thanks to Colt Cabana for his time. Please check his website for more information.
