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Review...of a review
It's always good to get more than one opinion. Perhaps someone else picked up on something you missed. Further insight is always welcome, even (and especially) at shows you attend in person.
January 25th was a great way to start off the wrestling year with two shows.
The first show was the Jersey All Pro show in Bayonne, NJ, and by all
accounts, including my view from the front row, it came off as a good
show.
Da Hit Squad are a gold mine for JAPW, and Monsta Mack was hilarious just
sitting at ringside for the main event. The results of that show can be
found elsewhere on this Web site.
The second show was for the CyberSpace Wrestling Federation, and you
couldn't have written a bigger clunker of a show if you tried. 76 people
showed up to witness underprepared announcers, no name wrestlers with
NO HEAT whatsoever, an Internet champion (which, unfortunately, isn't
an original concept. Yes, some stupid, worthless, carny of a "promoter"
actually came up with this idea before the CSWF), a commissioner who
couldn't get heat if he lit himself on fire, poor wrestling, and maybe
one or two highlights.
When you're spending more time chatting it up with the ringside photographers
(and trying to figure out who the cute female photographer
reminds you of, then realizing it's Karen Valentine), you know you're
at a bad show.
But according to Eric Walker, this show was...well, you figure it out. His column (from www.pwtbs.com) is featured below- with comments:
"CyberSpace Wrestling returned Saturday night to the Healthquest Gym in Flemington, NJ."
Bad start- they've never been there before. So they didn't "return."
"First off, this company has great production values. The entrance way, mats around the ring and a good sound system. Production is not an issue."
Production and throwing money around do NOT make a good show. Money should be spent on bringing in NAME WORKERS. Not using the promoter and booker in two separate matches. Not springing for an entranceway and then not figuring out that the microphone doesn't reach the ring until 20 minutes after the show was supposed to start.
"They even went to the expense of making professional belts for
every championship. Maybe because of my business and website I am a bit
of an
elitist when it comes to the belts, but I hate seeing crappy looking belts.
Spend the money, the belts last forever and can be resold on Ebay for
more than you paid by a collector."
These won't be around long enough to be collector's items, but they were
nice looking belts. Collector's items are items of interest to others.
This fed, based on its booking and its booker's complete contempt for
the audience he's booking for, won't be around to generate sympathy, let
alone interest.
"The show ran as smoothly as possible with a few minor glitches that were fixed as the show went on. Nothing that no other promoter has to deal with."
Other promoters clue the announcer in on the opening angle and cue up the proper music, not leaving the poor schlub reacting to silence. There was nothing out of the ordinary on the show, like pyro, lighting, or film crews, that would cause any kind of glitches.
"The results: "
"Shawn Sheridan and Dave Grego had an unscheduled fight break out. They went to the back and it ended, designed to set up a "sanctioned match" another date."
The stupidest possible way to open a show, and the CSWF booker found
it. Tease a match, then don't deliver. Expect people to pay to see it
next
month when they could have easily had it right then and there. It's not
like Shawn Sheridan or Dave GreCo had anything else to do that night in
the
boonies of Flemington.
"The Equalizers defeated The Hardcore Mafia. Good effort from the 2 young teams"
Uhhhh...the Equalizers included one worker whose gut threatened to escape the ring. The only worker I've seen who was taller laying flat on his back than standing up. There were two HIDEOUSLY botched spots in the first three minutes of this match, and there may have been more, but most of the crowd was busy covering their eyes. Good "effort" does not mean a good match.
'FINALLY, THE SMOKE HAS COME BACK TO FLEMINGTON... CSWF Champion Smokey M (who looks frighteningly like The Rock), Hardcore Champion Jackie Dreamer and Internet Champion Firehawk came out."
Three ripoffs of better gimmicks (the Rock, Tommy Dreamer, and the Sultan,
respectively). If you're going to rip off someone else, do it with style
or
panache. Make it your own. Don't just read off lines, especially if you're
ripping off one of the most popular wrestlers in the history of the business
(not the Sultan).
And it can be left to you where the promoter of the show and its booker decided to place themselves on the card. The answer in a few paragraphs.
HINT: One of them wasn't Smokey M., who appears to be fully dedicated on riding his one trick pony flat into the ground.
"The crowd seemed lost as it took them a few minutes to understand the angle."
The crowd wasn't lost. There wasn't an "angle." This was just
three blowholes giving themselves 10 minutes of time that someone else
could have
used to actually WRESTLE.
There was nothing to understand. If there was, it wasn't going to be done by these three, who had:
- no heat
- no mic skills
- no proper reactions to the 7 people who were somewhat interested in
what was going on in the ring
"After a while, Chris Hamrick and EZ Money came out and got huge pops for their mike work. This set up tonights main event."
Here's your answer: Booking themselves into the main event of their own promotion. Cardinal Rule #1 of booking and promoting broken in the first 25 minutes of the show.
"Gran Akuma defeated Mike Quackenbush in a great lucha style match"
Quack did a fine job carrying one of his students to a decent match.
Not great, decent. And Eric missed the geisha girl strolling around ringside,
setting up Akuma turning heel after wrestling a straight babyface style.
His low blow led to a small package for the win. THAT was lost on most
of
the crowd.
"Justin Powers defeated the Hungarian Barbarian by disqualification after he threw me...errr...the referee, about 10 feet out of the ring."
Eric did a fine job reffing the match, even going so far as to properly
repeating his ref bump as it came off bad the first time around. I've
got
no beef with Eric, just what he perceived as the card on January 25th.
"I landed right at the feet of the guys from Wrestling Clothesline. Nice to know I can get heat in Flemington, NJ."
In front of 76 people (we counted). But a nice ref job, considering what came later.
"Slyk Wagner Brown came out to stop the melee after Barbarian had goozled several other wrestlers."
Who didn't wrestle any match on the card the entire night, making their
presence there completely unnecessary. Do wrestlers just come to shows
dressed in full gear and hang out? If so, why make a match they're not
in any of their business and interfere in it?
Just piss poor booking.
"Alexis Laree defeated April Hunter and Serena to win the CSWF Women's Championship. Why hasn't Vince signed this beautiful young woman who can work a great match?"
Which one?
Alexis is a good worker, but WAY too small. Terri Runnels would dwarf her. April is just a super talent. Serena makes excellent brownies and a match with any combo of these three would embarrass the WWE and its "divas." Let these women save their self-respect and work in front of people who appreciate them and where they can truly show off what they can do, not what they have under their tights.
"Morbeus defeated Brian Fury. Good effort from these guys. "
Morbeus had one of the most frightening looking valets ever seen in the
wrestling business. Better "effort" than the opening tag match,
but thanks
to the booking of this card, they had too much to live up to.
"Sinister X defeated Kid USA to win the USWF Championship. An angle was also done with Hunter Q. Robbins III and his stable."
The most stupefyingly awful part of the entire card.
The match was fine. Kid USA has a lot of energy. Sinister X has a decent look. Destiny (who came out later as X's valet) looks like everyone's scary aunt, and has no business strutting around in pleather skirts and jackets.
Hunter Q then came out with more guys who didn't work a single match on the card. The "angle" consisted of:
- Hunter standing silent in the middle of the ring
- the "stable" silent in the middle of the ring
- no mic work
- no follow up
- Kid USA, who just spent 10 minutes getting pummeled by Sinister X, just
walking around behind X casually back to the locker room area
If they're booking for the silent film era, even that needs work. This was just awful, lazy, insulting booking.
"Firehawk defeated The Mighty Finn to retain The CSWF Internet Championship! By the way, Firehawk's valet Vanity is HOT. I would stay tuned, I may have some good news about Vanity real soon."
Lord know the Wrestling Clothesline's chief will be waiting patiently for it. :)
Outside of Vanity and Finn's abilities in the ring, this was a clunker.
Firehawk is a dud in the ring, and Finn's mic work sounded like the Diceman
wrote it hungover.
"Devon Storm defeated Slyk Wagner Brown in the best match on the show."
Slyk- uhh, Sylk, is just an untapped well of a wrestler. Any decent promoter
and federation can do miracles with him and April Hunter, but
unfortunately it seems too many promoters and bookers have their heads
squarely up their own asses. These two are a perfect way to bring wrestling
angles and matches into the new millenium, showing the fans that professional
wrestling is not stuck in the early 1900s in their attitudes and prejudices.
Sadly, those days seem far, far away.
"Serena and April Hunter had a couple catfights also. Very entertaining,
maybe a major Philly promotion needs to look at Slyk and April to come
in
(*Cough3PWCough*)."
3PW is a perfect example of a promotion that's not able to lift its head
out of the sand and get past its own jealousies, prejudices, and outdated
ideals. Its head promoter needs to stop bragging about the promoter's
"organizational skills" that are non-existent and join the rest
of us who
live past the attitudes of the 1950s and 60s.
"Jackie Dreamer and Smokey M. defeated Chris Hamrick and EZ Money after Money turned on Hamrick. Smokey got the pin, and thus won't have to defend his CSWF Title against Hamrick on the next show."
This is doing Hamrick more of a favor than it is Smokey. "Jackie"
has absolutely no business being in the main event of any card, including
any
held in his backyard. EZ Money is a great wrestler once he forgets about
his gimmick, and both he and Hamrick deserved better than this. Tagging
them against Storm and Slyk would have been a better choice, even if Storm
and Brown turned on each other at the end (or even Money and Hamrick).
But no- the booker had to have himself in the main event of a card that
most certainly lost money, which didn't seem to bother him, as he told
us, "I don't care, I already got your money."
Perhaps he failed to notice the 25 or so people who didn't come back after intermission.
"Good show. The bugs got worked out early and things ran smoothly from then on."
The biggest bug was working the main event and putting himself and the promoter over, a move that makes no one any money. "Send Them Home Happy" is a simple tenet that this simple promoter couldn't even apply to this card.
"CSWF is planning a March show. Stay tuned for details."
Unless it starts off with a huge apology, it won't see any representation from this Web site.
Kudos to Eric Walker for doing a good job reffing his match, as opposed to the head waiter who was presented as the head ref of the "USWF" who couldn't be bothered to get down and do a proper three count and spent more time acknowledging his critics in the audience. At least he was a good sport.
Eric did neglect to mention the angle that introduced the new CSWF commissioner, Duke Snyder (whose manager was taking pics at ringside, and no she wasn't the cute one, and who told us incessantly she was selling $10.00 videos of Duke). Duke (who had videos available of him for $10.00) took the mic and...just killed whoever was left in the crowd. No enthusiasm, no heat, no charisma whatsoever. But he did have tapes available for sale for $10.00. Does someone in CSWF owe Duke (whose manager informed us of the videos available for $10.00 money or something?
Eric's point of view on the promotion was somewhat understandable, considering
he was involved in it on several levels, and he does a great
column on www.pwbts.com,
but it would have been nice if he had removed the blinders and seen things
as they were from the outside.
76 fans can't be wrong, can they?
----
The comments and statements
do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Brett Schwan and the Wrestling
Clothesline (although many times, he comes damn close!). Please
feel free to email HIM with any comments, complaints, etc.
Jim has been watching wrestling for over 20 years and has followed and reported on indy wrestling for over 6 years. He's also a fan of the New York Giants, New York Yankees, St. John's Red Storm basketball, Alabama Crimson Tide football, and the New Jersey Devils, but please don't hold that against him.
Contact Jim at BilJim2@hotmail.com
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Previous Columns:
Watching Tazz is Tough Enough
Seven in Two
Getting Your Moneys Worth
How Not to Run and Indy
If That's What it Takes, They Don't Have It!
Customer Service in the Wrestling Business
Consider the Source
How Much Would You Pay?
Living Off The Past
Enough
Already
What
A Cop Out
Climbing
the Psychic Hotline
Subtleties
Pure Carny Scum
Will Bleed For Food
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