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Climbing the Psychic Hotline?
Looking back at previous
Climb the Ladder columns, it's amazing how quickly
things can become dated (notes about Wrestlemania 18), but more alarmingly,
how things written here have come true- on more than one occasion. So
consider this like a Simpsons clip show- some filler, some highlights.
From "Watching
Tazz is Tough Enough"- "If the WWF were smart, and seeing
that Stephanie McMahon is still on TV, they're not, they'd just sign
Matthew, the 6' 10" 330 lb guy"
The WWE (as they're
now stupidly called) signed Matt after he left the show
due to a knee injury. What they'll do with (or more likely, to) him is
a
mystery, but if he gets some solid ring time in and can get his weight
down, he could be a good hand.
From "Getting Your Money's Worth"- "Xavier is my pick for Sleeper of 2002"
Xavier has done so
much since the ECWA Super 8, and was immediately given
the ECWA tag team championship (held with Low Ki) at the next show.
Perhaps they could have had a longer reign as champs, but since it set
up a
series of matches between the two, no one's really complaining. Especially
after seeing him hit his 450 off the ECWATron in a terrific match when
they
dropped the straps. Xavier has the moves down, has the look, and as was
shown last month, isn't half bad behind the mic.
From "How Much
Would YOU Pay?"- "I hope after the stupid, unnecessary crap
these guys had to go through last year...that they get twice what they're
asking here." (referring to, among others, Chris (Harvard) Nowinski)
Nowinski is now a
featured player on Monday Night RAW, and looks like the
best pick out of all the Tough Enough contestants- and he wasn't even
a
finalist! It looks like the WWE actually took the time to develop a decent
gimmick for him that's based on his real life personality, and those are
the most successful kinds of gimmicks. Change the guy's ring name to Chris
Harvard, and you've got an untapped gold mine in this guy. Check back
on
him in about six months- he's already improved his mic work and bumps
like
a champ. He's definitely One to Watch.
From "Enough
Already"- "Jackie was chosen because she decided to drink
herself into a stupor and embarrass herself doing soft core porn with
the
first guy she could grab. Her boyfriend has no balls whatsoever to show
up
and take part in the skit at the last episode by wiping his brow. Those
two
clowns won't last another six months with her full time in the WWEeek
fully
exposed to the underside of the wrestling business."
Well, that didn't take long.
It took less than
30 days for Jackie Gayda to embarrass herself, the
wrestling business, and anyone watching after her beyond abysmal
performance on RAW July 8th. It was like watching a car slowly, but
surely, drive into a wall. You saw it coming when they first set up a
mixed tag match with Trish Stratus and Bradshaw against her and poor,
poor
Chris Nowinski (who got off a hysterical line about Trish dressing like
she
came from a 7 year old's birthday party that was unfortunately lost in
the
black hole of charisma that is Jackie), and Jackie showed off her horrific
mic work that sounded like Tom Brokaw, on Thorazine, reading cue cards
with
one word on them. Setting her up as some kind of a "Diva" on
earlier shows
certainly wasn't the best route, as she has a face that could stop time,
but whoever thought giving her some mic time was a good idea needs to
be
fired immediately.
You would think that
you can only improve upon that- after all, you
couldn't get any worse. You, of course, would be wrong.
Jackie topped off
the worst mic work on RAW in years with probably the
worst performance in wrestling history. She showed that she learned
absolutely nothing during her "grueling" Tough Enough workouts
as she
botched a simple leg takedown (falling on top of the opponent is not the
intent of the move) and looked totally lost in the ring, which must have
looked to her like it was the size of a football field after that spot.
Stratus responded with some stiff shots in the corner, which apparently
didn't wake Jackie up.
Bradshaw and Nowinski
wisely took off through the crowd- no doubt running
to the back to get to a TV so they could watch history in the making,
and
leaving poor Trish Stratus, who is the most improved worker in the WWE
today, to fend for herself. Trish has blossomed into a good worker, but
she's not a miracle worker, and that was evident when she went for her
finisher (a bulldog) off the top rope. Trish did her job, coming off and
making contact with her arm. The problem was that no one bothered to
inform Jackie that when you feel the arm on the back of your neck that
you
FALL FORWARD. So she stood there, saw Trish fall flat on her ass in front
of her, and THEN she decided to "sell" the move by falling to
the mat like
she was shot.
It was absolutely excruciating to watch.
Jackie hasn't been
seen on WWE TV since, proving that the WWE does some
things right. Then again, Stephanie McMahon is back on TV feuding with
Eric Bischoff and showing her Jackie Gayda-level of mic work.
God Bless the Indys.
----
Jim has been watching
wrestling for over 20 years and has followed and reported on indy wrestling
for over 6 years. He's also a fan of the New York Giants, New York Yankees,
St. John's Red Storm basketball, Alabama Crimson Tide football, and the
New Jersey Devils, but please don't hold that against him.
Contact Jim at BilJim2@aol.com
----
Previous Columns:
Watching Tazz is Tough Enough
Seven in Two
Getting Your Moneys Worth
How Not to Run and Indy
If That's What it Takes, They Don't Have It!
Customer Service in the Wrestling Business
Consider the Source
How Much Would You Pay?
Living Off The Past
Enough
Already
What
A Cop Out
---
The comments and statements do not necessarily reflect the opinions of
Brett Schwan and the Wrestling Clothesline (although many times, he comes
damn close!)
