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Hell Has Frozen Over
At the Jersey Championship Wrestling show held at the Paramus Elks Lodge on Sunday, June 29th, it was an afternoon of sights and sounds wrestling fans have never seen or heard before, and in some cases never should or will again.
The afternoon started with a pre-show meal at Hooters, complete with the trying-too-hard-to-be-complimentary waitress who decided that our table should be the only one to get the “honors” of her hawking every T-shirt Hooters has for sale. What a way to treat your customers- buying a meal isn’t enough anymore? Now it’s necessary to go home with items that would seem lame even at a Spring Break beerfest? And whoever created the slogans on the T-shirts must have been fired from Hallmark, as the puns would make a seven year old groan. Anyone who doesn’t work for Hooters who owns any paraphernalia from the place outside of the beer bottle cozys should be sequestered and studied. Every item screams of loneliness, desperation, and immaturity- from the shirts down to the “risqué” playing cards that would be thrown off the table at any decent or even indecent poker game.
On the bright side, some of the hard working boys in blue from Jersey City did come in to Hooters, enjoying a day off on one of the few sunny weekends in the area this year. Anyone who complains about their job should take a walk in their shoes someday- or a visit to any district they work in the city, which are so dilapidated anyone that leaves the premises would benefit from a tetanus shot.
Things were looking shaky in the early part of the afternoon as the ring hadn’t arrived before the pre-show meal, and only half of it was there after the pre-show meal. Workers were changing right at ringside thanks to the Elks Lodge double-booking the “locker room” area upstairs to a wedding banquet, making the ringside area a makeshift locker room- and permanently dissuading anyone eager to see “what it’s like” backstage from ever wanting to go back there again. Fortunately, the rest of the ring did arrive and was put up faster than any other ring in indy wrestling history.
The first sign of the coming apocalypse came at 3:58, as JCW started its second show in a row on time, and in this case a few minutes early.
In the opening contest, Disturbed Damian Dragon sauntered out, clearly mourning the “loss” of his fiancée Foxxy Dreams, and faced Dickie Rodz, a mainstay and former champion in NYWC. Dragon really sold his anger over the loss well and took it out on poor Dickie, who was pretty much squashed here- the best way to position Dragon at this point. Dragon showed off his former heel side as he refused to pin Rodz twice and treated him to a beating all over and outside of the ring. Nice way to use Rodz, too- he may be a competent wrestler, but if you’re looking at him and thinking he resembles some Net guy who used to do RAW recaps, then he shouldn’t be getting any kind of offense on a guy who basically lost his future wife.
Dragon won via submission using his Dreamcatcher, a combination of an inverted Cloverleaf and stump puller. Rodz’s Gay Pride flag got more ringside time than Rodz, as it remained there for at least two more matches. Dragon continued venting as he misted the referee and put him in the Dreamcatcher. Dragon was aggressive here, and honestly could have been even more so by using more heel tactics, but if it’s a slow build then there are no problems here.
Before the next match, a scheduled Lightweight title match, Ace Darling and his new entourage came out for an impromptu meet and greet. Ace apparently felt that it was the best time to introduce his new “championship” tights and his Disciples of Darling, one being J Static and the other a 19 year old whose name never came out clearly on the microphone. Ace continued to show his poor taste in wrestling gear, as the new tights looked to have been stolen from a color blindness test chart. Some of the 200 or so in the crowd saw the number 26, while most just boo’ed. Ace entered his two disciples into the tag title race, and brought out his new manager, and theirs- John “Sure Thing” Shane, who rambled out to ringside and issued an open challenge to any tag team in the building to face his new team. Brett stood up, which brought out six years of hatred and frustration from Shane, who practically held the ropes open for Brett to get his ass kicked by Static and his partner who’s never been to Cheers, since no one knows his name.
Thankfully for everyone there, Chris Idol came out with Erik Cooper to take on the Disciples. Pretty much another squash, but once again for all the right reasons. Idol clearly spent too much time watching Disney movies over the weekend, as he came out, according to Shane, dressed as Aladdin. Idol’s going to be a good hand in JCW, as he’s being used properly at this point and gets himself over with his bump taking even as he’s helping to get his opponents over. Static and the Partner to Be Named Later won after two torture rack slams. Rumors of Static actually being Shawn Stasiak after a trip to a compactor remain unfounded.
Johnny Ova, the Lightweight champion, did finally get to have his match against Azrael, and the two really meshed together quite well. Azrael incorporated his knee into slams and suplexes in what seems to be a new tradition of moves for wrestlers these days, and came off as a great challenger, even if he didn’t get the win here. Ova won using the OvaDrive after several pin attempts. A feud with a decent backing storyline with these two could steal the scene in JCW if done right.
Rob Eckos, with manager Mike Winner, then came out for his match against Shooter Mike Kruel. Eckos threatened to steal Kruel’s nickname after the end of this match. Kruel did a good job countering all of Eckos’ offense into at attack on Eckos’ arm, which set up his Fujiwara submission quite nicely. A marked improvement over Kruel’s last JCW match, as he used simple, yet effective psychology in his matchwork, Eckos complemented it with his antics, yet still appeared credible. Too many workers go for the all comedy and aren’t able to be credible, but Eckos is able to do both, to his credit. One example of that was Eckos trying to use the armbar submission on Kruel, which popped the crowd. Kruel did manage to get the submission on Eckos despite continued interference from Mike Winner, the only person where a black wardrobe isn’t slimming. Kruel’s new streak of Not Bleeding in a Match now stands at two.
The next match had Team Ethic, aka Dixie that Lying Skunk and Dave Hollywood Video Greco, against Team Sheridan, aka Showtime Shawn Sheridan, Shawndito, and their entourage of Amber, the Way, and new “acquisition” Foxxy Dreams thanks to the match stipulations from last month’s show in Garfield. Some of the funniest and wittiest workers in the indys worked this match, and this was shown right at the start when Dixie and Greco played Monkey in the Middle with Sheridan, using the Way. Once Sheridan got the Way back, he tossed it to the outside, where it was picked up by Foxxy, who shouldered Amber on her way to the “back” (in this case, the parking lot), only to be dragged back by Sheridan. This much storyline development and character building isn’t found in two year’s worth of WWE angles, and this was the first two minutes of the match.
The match eventually got going, with Foxxy pouting around ringside, sitting on Brett’s lap until scolded by Amber, wishing she was having a Family Fun Day, showing off her new Sheridan Says RELAX T-shirt, and in general doing a fine job selling her new “role” as a member of Team Sheridan. Disturbed Damian Dragon made no appearance during this match, which was a very smart booking move. Let the situation build and build, and the payoff’s going to be huge.
This all, of course, only works if you’ve got a dynamic “leader” of the pack, which they certainly do in Showtime Shawn Shingles Sheridan. SH4 blends comedy, crisply executed wrestling moves, and charisma, and has really ran with the ball he was given in JCW. Even his indecisiveness on what to do with the Way, from giving it to Brett, then another, then finally taking it back because his LiveJournal kicks everyone’s ass (it does) didn’t take away from the match.
As far as the match itself, Dixie and Greco did get the win after lying to their devoted fans and using the Claw on Sheridan and Shawndito. Sheridan got tossed to the outside where he was choked down by Foxxy, leaving Shawndito to Team Ethic. Greco and Dixie pulled off the Giant Swing into the Dixie dropkick, which is still dying for a name (all suggestions to jim@wrestlingclothesline.com will be forwarded to Greco’s midnight drop box). The double fist drop sealed the victory, and Greco added a humorous touch as he booted Sheridan on his way to the back parking lot. Team Sheridan composed themselves and followed to the back, with Amber pulling Foxxy back there by her hair. Good use of Amber, as it blends her right into the story as the bitchy lackey, sets up a possible match down the road, and keeps everything moving along.
In his last match before departing to OVW, LiveWyre, coming out with John “Sure Thing” Shane, pinned Striker. LiveWyre has it all down, moving from spot to spot with consistent transitions, and Striker has everything down pat- except his hair. LiveWyre flung Scoot Andrews across the ring with a T-Bone suplex, and showed he’s not all about power moves as he maneuvered Eraserhead into a Crippler Crossface. Buckwheat managed to get out of the Crossface and hit his newly re-christened LungBlower, formerly Death to Smoochy, which led to a submission move of his own. Unfortunately, John Shane distracted the referee, so Elvis went over and knocked Shane off the ring apron. A La Majistral cradle from the Heatmiser got a two count, but LiveWyre stuck to the mat moves, and pinned the Flock of Seagulls using a rollup.
After the match, Ricky O got LiveWyre’s attention to the back, as Chris Idol- er, actually a nine year old, came out asking LiveWyre if he was ready for a new challenge. The entire parking lot- er, locker room, emptied as everyone gave LiveWyre a nice, respectful sendoff as he is on his way to OVW and hopefully to great things. They might not be bigger or better things, knowing the WWE and its use of its farm league, but he’ll make the most of this terrific opportunity, and it’s doubtful he’ll be the last one from JCW or the East Coast chosen to go.
Intermission followed, pictures were taken, and Bizarro World continued in JCW with the next match.
Ace Darling won the JCW Heavyweight Championship from Don Montoya in the match of the day. Montoya worked the match of his life, hitting the six years in the making Suicide Dive, and flat out busted his ass against Darling and his entourage. After the debacle of the tag team four way the last time he was in Paramus, Don Montoya came off as a great representative of a champion here in a loss than he did in any of his previous wins. The crowd popped out of their seats several times and Montoya, to his credit, really held things together and managed to keep up with a true pro like Ace Darling.
Montoya countered the constant interference from Shane and the Disciples of Darling, hitting his Corkscrew Legdrop on Darling, but only getting a two count. What followed sealed this one as the match of the day- Ace nailed him with a Superkick, but Montoya kicked out in a great bit of psychology. Montoya then attempted a Miracle Ecstacy (sitout chokeslam), but Darling reversed it into a Hurricarana. Darling went for his Ace in the Hole (DDT off the top) finisher, but Montoya caught him in the Miracle Ecstacy- not an easy move for a 300 pounder, but Montoya pulled it off. A superplex attempt followed, but the Disciples interfered again after the ref got bumped. A double clothesline from Montoya cleared the ring, but Ace ended it by finally hitting the Ace in the Hole to become the new champion.
Whoever planned this match out deserves a cigar- Darling gets a great role, hopefully a chance to prove that in a good run as the JCW champion, the Disciples get the rub, Montoya comes off strong and credible, and a new, solid stable is born. If anyone said going in that Don Montoya was going to be involved in the best match on the card they would have been sent to a rehab center, but here you are.
Dan Barry followed this by entering the ring and cutting a solid heel promo- despite never being on the mic before in JCW. Dan Barry managed to integrate informing the crowd about Ru Star’s absence, not choosing a Wrestling Clothesline columnist as a tag partner, answering questions about his marital status, and fat farms into a smooth bit. Unfortunately, Lord Clarence MacDougal came out and just bumbled all over the mic in response. It had to have been a bad day for MacDougal, who is usually very good on commentary and on the mic starting the TV shows, because he really came off poorly here. Perhaps he should have heeded the bad omen of the chair breaking that he chose to bring into the ring. After a meandering, flat speech, he proposed having Barry choose the Grim Reefer as a new partner for the evening. Barry thankfully said “Yes” quickly.
Los Boricuas successfully defended their tag team titles against Dan Barry and the Grim Reefer, who made a terrific first impression on the JCW crowd. Each team hit move after move, like Tony Blaze nailing Barry with his version of Last Rites, Reefer walking the ropes to nail an elbowdrop, Barry doing a springboard moonsault, among several others. Reefer’s one of the participants in August’s J Cup tournament, but if he’s not teaming with Barry on JCW shows before or after that, then someone needs to have their head examined. It might be questionable to have him job out in his first match in JCW, but if it’s presented properly, Reefer and Barry can be introduced as a threat to the tag titles in the future. The answer’s already out there, as Barry initially didn’t want to team with Reefer, so they can “reconcile their differences” and join forces.
Things hit the skids in the next ten minutes, as John Walters had to pull out of the TV title match due to blowing out his knee over the weekend, but JCW brought in a good replacement in Jay Lethal. Lethal ended up winning the TV title from Dirty Money in a fair match, which did send some of the fans home happy, but the pre-match promos- and hijinks involving putting over the last person in the building that deserves to be put over- left most of them just confused. Sometimes people are ridiculed and ostracized for GOOD REASON.
Despite interference from Devin Sturgis, Lethal managed to get the win with a rollup after the ref pushed Money right into Lethal. Lethal countered the interference by going to the back and bringing out Los Boricuas. Money blew up early, but was smart enough to realize it and tossed Lethal to the outside for a quick breather. Money hit his Spinebuster but couldn’t get a pin count because the referee saw Sturgis’s walking stick in the ring, which led to the ref push. As mentioned, a fair match, and maybe not the best one looking back to close the show on, but the fans did go home happy, which follows the cardinal rule of promoting.
Bizarro World ended before 7:00- yet another strange omen. JCW’s next show is on Sunday, July 20th, and the Fourth Annual J-Cup is on Sunday, August 24th.
Overall, it was a really off kilter afternoon with many examples that the apocalypse is upon us:
- JCW starting on time, early in this case, and ending at a decent hour-
a rarity in this area when shows are ending when the roosters start in
- Mike Kruel NOT bleeding in his match
- Dixie fibbing about using the Claw
- Striker’s need for a deep conditioner and sport gel
- Don Montoya having the match of the show
- Confusing, non-sequitur promos putting over people who don’t add
Dime One to the business or promotion
- Dan Barry showing solid mic work.
Well, that’s the seven signs right there. We’ll be in the fallout
shelter.
Complaints, comments, questions?? Email Jim
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The comments and statements
do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Brett Schwan and the Wrestling
Clothesline (although many times, he comes damn close!). Please
feel free to email HIM with any comments, complaints, etc.
Jim has been watching wrestling for over 20 years and has followed and reported on indy wrestling for over 6 years. He's also a fan of the New York Giants, New York Yankees, St. John's Red Storm basketball, Alabama Crimson Tide football, and the New Jersey Devils, but please don't hold that against him.
Contact Jim at BilJim2@hotmail.com
