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Merging into Nothing- and Meeting a Legend
The latest trend not sweeping the indys is the recent wave of promotions on both coasts that are “dropping their borders” and “joining forces,” thereby working as one unit.
Sounds good on paper, right? So does communism.
Ideally, this would promote unity within the independent ranks, as promoters and feds could use the same talent without any problems or booking snafus. This gives the appearance of harmony and fans get the impression that they’re able to see wrestlers they normally wouldn’t be able to see. With so many National Wrestling Alliance promotions out there, ideally fans would get one giant promotion where angles and characters are under one unified banner, storylines are easier to follow- since guys wouldn’t of course be faces one place and heels the next, and gives the aura of one giant conglomerate with an impressive name, so fans tired of seeing every letter of the alphabet used in so many different indy fed names would now have one fed they can identify with and relate to.
The problem with this idea is that these are, by definition, independent workers and federations. No one’s under contract. Workers can come and go from indys as often as they please, so this impression is completely misleading. The unification is in name alone- so if a worker wanted to be a face one place and a heel in another, there’s nothing they can do about it.
Here on the East Coast, a few promotions in New Jersey decided to band together under something called the Universal Wrestling Something or other- which shows just how well the idea was researched and how seriously it’s being taken already since the name doesn’t spring to mind right away. So far it appears to be the National Wrestling Superstars, NWA-Jersey, Stars and Stripes Championship Wrestling, and Jersey Championship Wrestling.
Note “appears to be”- as there’s no mention of this new conglomerate on any of the Web sites of any of these promotions. Then again, the NWA-Jersey “Web site” consists of exactly one whole page advertising their upcoming show- no links, no profiles, no interviews, nothing. The National Wrestling Superstars site has locked up so many times and is so unwieldy that it’s impossible to find anything on it- like a venue for the May 10th show that wasn’t on the Web site until after April 23rd. Less time on sizzle, more time on steak, please- or maybe they’re projecting directions through telepathy.
Stars and Stripes? Well, outside of seeing their own version of 10 Questions, which to be blunt is a blatant rip-off of the 10 Questions done better on this Web site, no mention. Zip, zero, zilch, nada, nope, nothing. They must be spending so much time on those kayfabe-o-licious, penetrating 10 Questions- like how Rob Eckos stacks up to other lightheavyweights. Can’t imagine the answer. “Not very well?” Come on. Get out of the house and come up with some real questions- and leave the 10 Questions stuff here, where it started, and where it belongs.
The one fed that has any real significance in the state out of the four, Jersey Championship Wrestling, has absolutely no mention of this “merger” whatsoever on its Web site. This, in retrospect, seems like a smart promotional move- as NWA-Jersey doesn’t look to have much of a future based on their sparkler of a Web “site,” and the tidal wave of outrage from no one about a new character in the NWS is sure to doom those poor fools.
OK, maybe not.
Kids have put together better Lego links than this promotional coup. The folks in JCW must be wondering what kind of anchor they’ve latched onto with these three, as this can only drag them down. The downsides of this merger outweigh any positive aspects, as in the worst case scenario, promoters in this merger could then “lock” their workers in and not cooperate with “outside” promotions- a ludicrous idea since no indy worker these days would be stupid enough to sign a contract limiting their ring time to one promotion, unified or not.
Of course, that’s not the case with the nitwits on the Least Coast of California, least only in the aspect of their embarrassing representation of indy feds where the most promising ones seem to fade fast under the auspicious glare of true shitbags like Roland Alexander and All Pro Wrestling.
Leave it to APWho to take the merger idea, yet another creative thought not their own, and manage to fuck it up so badly that announcements of their mergers spark dread rather than interest. Apparently threats of a lawsuit and trial over the death of Brian Ong aren’t enough to dissuade APW and its band of merry morons from polluting the state of California outside of their miserable garage.
APW announced to its stooges and anyone who’d listen via spamming boards and sites left and right that they were merging with Golden State Championship Wrestling, a fed run by Henry Luna that was getting rave reviews in its recent outings. Certainly not one to let others hog the spotlight he feels he so richly deserves, Rolo the APW Carny fed Luna a whole line of horseshit to the point where Luna GAVE UP the GSCW name he worked so hard to make respectable in such a short time in the California indys, join up with a fed that doesn’t even promote non-sold shows outside its own garage, and rename their fed APW-LA.
At least the New Jersey feds were intelligent enough to keep their own names.
Henry Luna might be a decent promoter, but he must have no self-esteem or pride anywhere in his body to just toss away his hard work to latch onto the albatross that is All Pro Wrestling. The name alone results in laughter, disrespect, derision, and nausea from anyone with even half an interest in the indy scene- but Luna somehow thought this was a good idea.
The move, of course, benefits no one except for Rolo the APW Carny- who now can leave his own garage to promote shows, even if there’s another chance he’ll get chased down at another fair or show to get served another deserved subpoena. Since the idiots in the APW “wrestling school” (now run by a never-was nobody in the business since Mike Modest and Donovan Morgan left to form their own fed- taking 75% of the APW students and staff with them) all are stupid enough to sign contracts, this locks them right in to working just for APW. So all those promises of getting “outside bookings” look on paper to be more promising than before, it’s all just more hot air coming out of that Hindenburg of a promoter in Rolo.
APW subsequently announced another “merger” with Central Coast Wrestling, a fed NO ONE ever heard of before, and seemingly another one run by someone with no self-respect as they saw something good being latched onto the APW name. APW, a name synonymous with willfully exposing the business for less than $2,000.00 a few years ago, dead students- and hitting the grieving families up for payment on the outstanding dues, lies, spins, and a promoter so reviled in the business that he was properly ridiculed and used like the mark he is on a national level in Beyond the Mat- whose own director called him a carny.
What do the fans in California get out of this? Nothing they couldn’t get before- only now there’s a possibility they won’t get to see someone thanks to Rolo sleazily enforcing those contracts not worth the paper they’re printed on.
What do the workers get out of this? Even less opportunities than before- thanks to this “merger” that most certainly will shut some workers out of working locations guys like Henry Luna and the zero running Central Coast busted their asses locking in before Carnys R Us came along with their lines of bullshit. Now APW can use those venues and plaster their name all over the place- something they weren’t competent enough to do on their own.
The only person who benefits from this is Rolo the APW Carny- until the Brian Ong trial comes a’calling, of course. Then he will most definitely get dragged back down to whatever rock he came from, only this time taking two feds and two guys too new and too stupid to the business with him.
Just based on the end results of these wrestling “unions,” it looks like it’s best to leave the mergers for the guys on Wall Street to screw up.
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The last part of this column is cribbed and edited from a post I made on the Wrestling Clothesline message boards, located at <http://cactusb.proboards18.com/index.cgi>. The thread was about Chiller Theatre, and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper:
Piper did find it humorous that I asked him to sign a pic of him and make it out to Brett. He then told the story of Freddie Blassie clogging his bagpipes with toilet paper that's in his book. He must have talked to a few thousand people last weekend, and I hope each one felt like I did- like I was the only person in the room.
I really started watching wrestling about 20 years ago-right before it was all over MTV with all the Cyndi Lauper hype. Lauper was the hottest singer in the country back then, for people too young to remember (like half the talent in the indys today), so MTV was all over the Hogan-Piper feud.
Hogan even back then was just such an obvious, insulting, and irritating caricature that Piper stood out like a sunbeam.
Of course, before Piper got booked with Hogan he was booked with Jimmy Snuka, starting off with the classic Piper's Pit and the coconut- and I was hooked on wrestling from then on.
Outstanding interviews followed, and he was booked STRONG as a heel against Snuka since he was programmed next with Hogan, the WWF Champ. Piper beat Snuka by countout at the Garden, which I saw on MSG TV, when he hotshotted him off the top rope after Snuka came off the top turnbuckle. Then he rammed a chair into his throat. Repeatedly.
Piper could have slapped my grandmother after that but I'd always be a fan.
Roddy Piper and Roddy Piper alone kept me interested in professional wrestling until the early 1990s, when I started seeing shows out of Iron Mike Sharpe’s school, and got a whole new outlook on the business- and it was so great for me to meet the guy responsible for so much enjoyment in my life- whether it came from him and his antics, or others I watched thanks to him getting me interested in the first place.
Watching Roddy on Smackdown last Thursday reminded me how long ago that was, and seeing him in person Friday night, and how much pain he clearly was in after so many years of chain matches, cage matches, strap matches, and carrying luggage like Hogan around the ring for so many years, and how dependent he was on so many things and so many people, just hammered home to me how tough and bad the wrestling business can be.
I'm watching my son climb all over his Pack N Play right now- he's gonna be a big boy, and has athlete written all over him. If there's even half a chance he'd end up like Piper these days, who just gave everything to a business and promoter who gave him nothing close to what he was worth back and is paying the price in pain every single day- then I don't want my son to ever watch RAW or Smackdown.
Then again, seeing Piper give me a wink and a smile on his way back up the escalator to sign more autographs as I was on my way out the door, and seeing the true joy he has in what he does, maybe it’s not such a bad thing.
God bless “Rowdy” Roddy Piper.
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The comments and statements
do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Brett Schwan and the Wrestling
Clothesline (although many times, he comes damn close!). Please
feel free to email HIM with any comments, complaints, etc.
Jim has been watching wrestling for over 20 years and has followed and reported on indy wrestling for over 6 years. He's also a fan of the New York Giants, New York Yankees, St. John's Red Storm basketball, Alabama Crimson Tide football, and the New Jersey Devils, but please don't hold that against him.
Contact Jim at BilJim2@hotmail.com
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