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Signs, Sociopaths, and Scary Stipulations, aka JCW on June 8th
Sunday shows are TOUGH.
Granted, the buildings are easier to get for promoters, and nightlife alternatives are really limited, but Sunday shows can be real draining. Knowing that a full work week is right around the corner but still going to a Sunday show is really only delaying the inevitable, which in this case was a week’s full of retirement presentations in front of a billion dollar company’s VPs. So the June 8th JCW show was met with a lot of anticipation, but a little bit of dread.
BTW, number of Sunday shows attended before yesterday: None.
Jersey Championship Wrestling held its “Demand Respect” card at the Garfield, NJ Boys and Girls Club on Sunday, June 8th, with one of the best lineups in the business. With a 3:00 pm scheduled bell time, it was probably the best way to finish the weekend outside of recreational drugs a person could find. Hot angles and some really well developed characters have been JCW cornerstones, and none of that changed this past Sunday.
The day began even earlier than usual with a quick drive up the Garden State Parkway and a stupid refusal to double check the exit number on the directions. After ending up in Paterson, seeing Paterson’s version of the Puerto Rican Day Parade (people marching all up, down, on top of, and around the car), and skidding out of Paterson faster than the speed of sound, it was time for a nice tour of the Passaic River- and noticing how every single road except for River St. ended on a downhill slope right at the river’s edge. Was this Annapolis, Maryland, or Garfield, New Jersey?
The show took place as mentioned at the Garfield Boys and Girls Club, yet advertisements had the show at the Boys Club. Smart move on the part of JCW, intentional or not- it would have been very hard on a grown man’s psyche, not to mention coming up with a creative account to a spouse, in order to explain seeing wrestling at a girl’s club.
With such an early bell time, it would have been nigh impossible to find a decent venue for pre-show vittles, so that was going to have been saved for after the show- until they opened up the concession stands in the club. Operated by Garfield firemen. Plans were immediately changed. Sidenote: Firefighters are some of the best yet most unheralded cooks in the world. They are the Damian Dragons of the community services industry.
Lord Clarence MacDougal and one smartass were treated to the first two cheese steaks off of the grill, complete with the cook’s “secret spice recipe” added to the mix. The result? Probably the best cheesesteak you’ll find outside of Pat’s in Philadephia. Keeping it wrestling themed, that’s a total shoot. For a boy’s and girl’s club, this place was remarkably stacked with stuff to eat and drink. The three soda machines in the lobby beats the number of soda machines in most offices by three. And this is all for a bunch of supposedly troubled or wayward kids (hey, watch the commercials)? The youth crime rate in Garfield must be soaring if these kids know what they’re in for when they’re sent to spend time in that club.
It was doubly fortunate that good food was available on the premises, because JCW wasted no time in starting the show ON TIME at 3:00. In related news, pigs were seen flying over the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Ricky O. started things off on a frustrating note by informing the 100 or so in the crowd that Reckless Youth was “injured” and unable to appear for the afternoon’s show. This has been a real aggravating trend in the career of Reckless Youth, and for a guy who usually wrestles in show-stealing matches, it really comes of as contemptuous, especially when people who were actually injured, like CM Punk, drove from God knows where to show up and work. However, the good news from Ricky’s announcement was that the Fourth Annual J-Cup was being held right there in Garfield on August 24th- a Sunday. Someone’s taking that Monday off.
Lord MacDougal, his cheesesteak, and Mike Berkowitz came to the ring for a 10 bell salute to the recently departed Classy Freddie Blassie, who lived a great, full life until the ripe old age of 85 and influenced more people in the wrestling business than just about anyone- and probably influenced them without them even knowing it. Blassie was a great example of how to live your wrestling dream the right way, and it was nice to see MacDougal drop his gimmick for a few minutes for some heartfelt words about a guy who gave and gave and gave to the wrestling business. Rest easy, Freddie Blassie, and dream of vampire teeth and pencil necked geeks.
The first match was Los Boricuas, the newly crowned JCW Tag Team Champions, who defended their titles against the new team of Azrael and Chris Idol. John Shane and his Blassie armband decided to interrupt the proceedings to remind Los Boricuas that even with the Dirty Rotten Scoundrelz out of JCW that things were still not over between him and the new champs. Shane jumped off the ring apron after Los Boricuas chased after him but he appeared to have fallen badly and was carried off by Ricky and Nick the Knife Niosi. The four seconds people used to possibly care about the departure of the DRS were immediately erased over concern for Shane and what appeared to be a busted ankle.
The match started and was an OK opener, with Idol doing some good work and Azrael confusing most in attendance by looking like a baby triceratops, with two horns found on his head that no dragon in existence (komodos, people!) or in any writings ever sported. Idol ended up spending too much time on the outside jawing with the crowd while Insane was being double teamed. Los Boricuas won with a double frog splash off the top that’s begging for a name. Los Frog Splasho (created by the Clothesline Crew) ain’t making it.
Damian Dragon and Foxxy Dreams then entered the ring for a promo hyping Dragon’s match later that afternoon against Shawn Sheridan. Dragon began running down the things that meant the most to him, with a soft touch on Foxxy for emphasis, and he challenged Sheridan to a hair vs. hair match, since Sheridan’s hair was the one thing that meant the most to Shawn Sheridan. Enter Sheridan to berate the promoters for ever letting Dragon near a microphone and to amend the stips so Sheridan would win Foxxy for 90 days if he won the match. Apparently this was his idea of revenge for Dragon starting his own Easy Journal. Dragon said, “Fine,” meaning yes.
Rob Eckos (w/Mike Winner and the Best Bowler’s Shirt Ever) took on Johnny Ova for the JCW LightHeavyweight title. Winner went for the mic and in the first true face pop of the day was stopped by Eckos, who sent him upstairs to do his bland- err, brand, of commentary. Eckos challenged Ova to a posedown, then immediately hit Ova when his back was turned as he hit a front biceps pose. Eckos showed a lot of offense, which was a nice shock considering Eckos often admits that he doesn’t do many moves. Usually, he admits that in the middle of one of his matches. Eckos hit a nifty Blue Thunder Bomb on Ova but couldn’t get the three count. Ova won with a roll-up. Fine match even if it didn’t showcase most of the talents of the two, most notably Johnny Ova.
Gregg Allman, aka Chaos, then made an unscheduled appearance, wearing his Statesboro Blues and decided he Ain’t Wastin’ Time No More as he took on Don Montoya for the JCW Heavyweight Championship. Despite a brief Revival, he was treated like a Whipping Post under a Blue Sky. Montoya showed his musical knowledge by yelling that he’s a “Freebird Now!” Nothing but Wasted Words when Ramblin’ Man Chaos yelled at the crowd- there was only One Way Out as Montoya hit his Corkscrew Legdrop finisher In Memory of Elizabeth Reed but most likely in memory of no one, sending any Dreams of championship gold Southbound for Mr. Allman. Montoya soaked in the cheers and put Mr. Ex-Cher over on the mic to the strains of the Worst Entrance Music Ever. Allman’s biggest fan John Shane sat in the back applying ice to his ankle and hopefully both hands over his ears.
The Lumberjack Match was next, as Jay Lethal (with Mrs. Lethal) faced LiveWyre, who was without the services of John Shane thanks to the earlier apparent injury. LiveWyre dominated most of the match, planting Lethal with a spinebuster and one of the fastest powerslams in the business. LiveWyre worked the back the majority of the match as Lethal countered his tosses to the outside with some Dynamite Kid clotheslines and a diving headbutt off the top rope. LiveWyre ended up on the heel side outside of the ring so Lethal followed up with a crossbody to the outside that was so “Lethal” it managed to knock Rob Eckos off his feet and into the pileup- this despite Eckos being ten feet away. Any worker that uses Lethal’s bodypress and Xero’s clothesline will certainly have the best offense in the business. As Lethal got LiveWyre in a pinning position following a ref bump, the sole masked lumberjack entered the ring and began whipping Lethal. Even the intimidating presence of JCW Commissioner Fred the Elephant Boy could not deter the lumberjack, who unmasked to reveal himself as John Shane, and LiveWyre from double teaming Lethal- until Momma Lethal entered the ring. Shane went to hit Mom with the chair but caught LiveWyre in the face on the backswing. Lethal with the pin to end a really fun to watch feud that kept both guys looking strong. LiveWyre’s now on to Ohio Valley Wrestling, where Jim Cornette must be rubbing his hands in anticipation over the potential stuff he can do with this guy. Shane got pantsed by Mommy who ended up potatoing the crap out of him to seal this enjoyable and entertaining little chapter in the history of JCW.
Dirty Money (w/Devin Sturgis- who still owes Danny a birthday gift) then successfully defended his TV title via DQ against Hurricane John Walters. This match was a real letdown considering the solid work from Walters as of late and the skills that lying fink Sturgis has that were for some reason weren’t shown in this one. Joey Fatone’s fatter, older brother got the DQ as he hit Walters with his cane following the squirm inducing Thong Drop from Dirty Money.
Dan Maff took on Mike Kruel (w/his Kruel Connection watching in the crowd), who replaced Reckless Youth. Another disappointment of a match, as this match was totally devoid of any psychology. It started out fine with some matwork, which elicited a “Boring” chant out of some idiot sitting behind us. This prompted a loud “Shut Up” from us, and a nice reprimand from Brett pointing out that this skinny yet large headed twerp couldn’t do one single move Maff and Kruel were doing in that ring. Fucking stupid mark- the same dork runs to ringside uninvited to take his jerk-off-to-later photos, nobody gives him shit about it, and that’s the thanks he gives? What a balloon headed douchebag
As far as the rest of the match? When Jersey All Pro’s Fat Frank’s 4 year old son is yelling out more logical spots than what these two pros were doing, it's a sign of a poorly planned out match. Kruel, who’s known for working body parts, did none of that, and moves were just tossed around. Nothing was botched, but this match really didn’t click around these parts. On the bright side, Kruel’s Bloody Nose Streak continued at…well, probably 72 straight matches, and Maff won the match with a pull of the tights.
Intermission took place somewhere around here, as Fat Frank scanned the Mayfield tapes, got yelled at about his boards, and managed to keep an eye on his four year old after one of the worst months in JAPW history. Hopefully things will pick up soon for Jersey All-Pro after a real long string of bad luck.
JCW’s newest tag team, the MidCard Express (Dan Barry and Ru Star), accompanied by JT Cornette (w/out necessary tennis racket to complete the look) took on Team Ethic (Dave Greco’s House of Tapes and Dixie von Raschke). Team Ethic were unfortunately without the services of Noel, who is probably the best looking injured manager in the history of the wrestling business. No flying headscissors, but a fun match. During this match, Dani the photographer officially became the second most over woman in the building (unless Noel has some kind of industrial accident, she’s got that title locked for JCW and probably any promotion she works for- effortless beauty) as she adeptly swiped the sign from the fat whack job who’s the butt of everyone’s jokes and is the last person to realize it. Tragically, it was later returned, which erased the joy of everyone in the place laughing at the loser moping over a fucking sign, but it was returned for a good reason, which was seen later…
The Claw was teased on a few occasions to the delight of…umm, one, but finally got hooked onto JT and Ru Star after Greco’s Giant Swing into a Dixie dropkick (another move that needs a name). Dan Barry did most of the work for the MidCards, showing himself to be the Bobby Eaton of his team, while Dave Greco was seen as….err, the Dave Greco of his team. Team Ethic won after a double 2nd rope fistdrop, and JT was hopefully off to Sports Authority to buy a friggin’ racket.
Now, it was time for the final showdown between Showtime Shawn Sheridan and Disturbed Damian Dragon. First cornerman or woman to throw in the towel loses the match. Sheridan continues to be creative when it comes to choosing entrance music, as the choice for Sunday was Europe’s The Final Countdown- complete with Sheridan singing the first lyrics but cut off before the first chorus. Too bad. Sheridan started off by sending Shawndido to the back so he couldn’t throw in the towel, as well as it being a necessary move so Shawn could have his back turned. This way Dragon can blindside him. Isn’t it nice how things work out?
The match started outside the ring, with Dragon showing a lot of furious anger tossing Sheridan all over the place, including a HARD shot to the backboard area of the basketball court. Sheridan bumped like a champ, and played out his role of cowardly heel to a T. Dragon then endeared himself to the Crew and the other 96 or so in the audience by grabbing the dry erase board held near and dear by one sociopathic “fan” and breaking it over Sheridan’s head. The crowd, dead most of the day, finally popped- and the priceless sight of this basketcase trying to retrieve the remnants of the sign, while it’s simultaneously getting stuffed into his pockets, torn up more, and rubbed into his head, was a joy to behold. Dragon certainly earned his $20.00 for that act, which doubled the payday he would have gotten from Lord Clarence MacDougal if he got the sign first.
Sheridan eventually recovered and hit his Straight Jacket move on Dragon (a version of Victoria’s Widow’s Peak) and nailed him with a Death Valley Driver (the closest Dragon would get to one, unfortunately- more on that later) onto a chair. Dragon showed a lot of fire after this, grabbing the chair Sheridan tossed at him in an attempt at an RVD-like move (RVD usually tosses the chair and hits a move as someone catches it), but Dragon quickly threw it back at Sheridan who was coming off of the top and NAILED him in the face. Dragon walloped Shawn with stiff kicks ala Low Ki and Tajiri all over the body and face, and got some nice use out of the chair, as he kicked it into Sheridan’s face while he was on the mat and then blasting him with a Stunner onto his knee.
After locking Shawn into the Tree of Woe and dropkicking him in the face AGAIN with the chair, Dragon sprayed him with the mist. This got Foxxy to get the towel from Sheridan’s corner, which was wrapped around The Way. Shawndido then sprinted out to ringside, got Foxxy’s towel, tossed his own, and threw her towel into the ring. Referee Brian Beaker only saw her towel, so he awarded the match to Showtime Shawn Sheridan- even if the announcer did get it wrong the first time. As a result, Sheridan gets the services of Foxxy for 90 days.
Great way to end the match and continue the feud in a whole different direction. Damian Dragon sold the finish beautifully, screaming for Foxxy and getting escorted out of the building. How this guy isn’t recognized by some self-proclaimed smart fans is beyond belief- almost as difficult to believe that anyone, especially HIM, actually cares about any smarks ranking wrestlers under the strangest, stupidest criteria imaginable. People mark for actual wrestling matches, not a bunch of shut ins making lists. The only people any wrestler should be concerned with in terms of pleasing are the ones paying to see their matches live, not the wannabe critics who ignore families and friends to watch hundreds of people on tape for hours and hours on end.
The next match did the near impossible and actually topped the Sheridan-Dragon war as Ace Darling and Josh Daniels had the match of the day in a two out of 3 falls brawl. First fall to be decided by pinfall, second by submission, third a street fight. Darling set the tone right off as he power walked to the ring, dead serious. It showed he was taking the match seriously and matched Daniel’s demeanor as he came out and went nose-to-nose with Darling during the introductions. Ace continued his streak of wearing the Worst Tights Ever, this time debuting the Color Blind Test pattern in blue. The tights got the most heat in the first fall- Brett may still be laughing at the fan saying he could see the sailboat.
Ace worked hard in the fall, calling for his flying DDT, now and forever renamed the Ace in the Hole, but he was caught by Daniels, who turned it into a Northern Lights suplex. Daniels went for a bodypress in the ring, but Ace, just like Little Jeannie last week, rolled it right into a pinfall with his feet on the ropes. Daniels jumps right back into it and works Darling’s back the entire second fall, which set up his Cloverleaf submission, which eventually got Ace to tap out. Daniels then inexplicably released the hold. This happens in every match like this, but it doesn’t make any storyline sense- if the last fall is anything goes, why release the hold? You can’t be DQ’ed, so clamp it in.
The third fall was the best, as Ace introduced a chair, most notably to his ass, as he landed on it making his second attempt at the Ace in the Hole. After Daniels knocked Darling all over the ring with a superplex and nearly took his head off with a nasty Benoit powerbomb, he locked back in on his Cloverleaf. This brought in two masked hoods, one being J Static. Daniels clears them out of the ring but gets hit with Ace’s third-try-is-the-charm Ace in the Hole. Ace Darling wins a wild one, and took a well deserved rest on two laps.
The main event could not have topped the last two matches, and…it didn’t. Homicide made his return to JCW and took on CM Punk, who looked like he came out of a Raven comic book. Nice match, but again- little psychology as submissions and finishers weren’t set up beforehand and the two just bumped around the ring. Punk didn’t endear himself to a few people by taking 30 seconds to set up a simple DDT, either, and reacted poorly to a simple question. This led to ridicule of his Pepsi tattoo and stringy hair, which threatened to escape his head and end up on a menu. Punk did relieve the critics by doing a running knee to Homicide’s face, which popped everyone. Homicide did come back and win with a version of the STF where he grabbed Punk’s spaghetti hair and pulled back until Punk tapped out. Short match, but understandable given that CM Punk was working hurt.
JCW put on another solid show here- you can’t miss when you’ve got three main event caliber matches on one show (Lethal vs. LiveWyre, Sheridan vs. Dragon, Ace vs. Daniels) and the venue is a good choice for the J Cup. High ceilings, good food, and room for the workers to move. JCW is easily one of the top three feds on the East Coast right now on matches alone, but truly earns it with its interesting storylines and choice of workers.
Post match antics had the Crew following Paul about 15 miles west to the Park View Diner, where half the IWF crew was found eating after their show held that same afternoon. Bonecrusher Sampson managed to get a word in edgewise to Paul as Paul pondered the prolific menu of homemade food and five different versions of fries. The Black Jack burger, sadly, did not come with a loaded glove or cowboy hat.
JCW returns to Garfield on August 24th for its Fourth Annual J-Cup, with Homicide being the first announced entry. August 24th…a Sunday…tough, but worth the trip.
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Jim has been watching wrestling for over 20 years and has followed and reported on indy wrestling for over 6 years. He's also a fan of the New York Giants, New York Yankees, St. John's Red Storm basketball, Alabama Crimson Tide football, and the New Jersey Devils, but please don't hold that against him.
Contact Jim at BilJim2@hotmail.com
