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Watching Tazz is Tough Enough
Tough Enough 2 had its casting "special" last Thursday night, and if it's an indicator of what we're in for in the wrestling business, then we're in trouble.
As it was, the whole show showed the absolute worst side of the WWF and the applicants so desperate for their moments of fame.
To start with, every single person on the "judging" panel from the WWF came off horribly, with #2 on my Approved List, Ivory, unfortunately looking the worst. To have some bleached bimbo dive into a frost cold pool to relieve your "judging" boredom is just maliciousness at its most petty.
From the looks of things, it seems like the attitude in the WWF locker room has spilled out to the mainstream media. All the stories about hazing and ribs in the back take on a whole new meaning, the New WWF Attitude. Just pray they don't have Bradshaw on as a judge next year.
If any network ran shows that featured characters like these, it'd be canceled in a month. The cast of Seinfeld were uniformly some of the most vile and annoying characters on the planet, but at least they had good writing to back them up. What's "Big's" excuse for having that kid in the final 25 other than seeing him get humiliated and "intimidated"? (more on that later)
The WWF people were just sorry reminders of the kind of people that populate professional wrestling. To paraphrase Bob Barnett in a phrase I seem to use time and time again, "Wrestling is full of sociopaths and nitwits."
Looks like MTV is full of them, too. Whoever told Kevin Dunn he had any business ranking on someone's looks or ability- when it appears the only ability he has is to chew holes in wood with his beaver teeth? To not choose the guy who spun around on his head in the ring shows that you should never underestimate the power of stupidity in large groups.
Apparently, based on the show, the WWF is only interested in three things:
1.) Looks, preferably
achieved through pills and needles - as evidenced by that chuckleheaded
fireman Jacob, self-described on the WWF.com page as a "genetic freak".
Only if genetics include cycles of Dianabol, dude...and, judging by that
protruding chin and guaranteed gap toothed smile, human growth hormone.
2.) Willingness to humiliate yourself - why they even decided on seeing
the guy so fat that Jim Ross, in the funniest line of the show, noted
he "looked like he gave birth to a litter of puppies", is ample
evidence of that. And those promos, dance moves, and gimmicks? Embarrassing
beyond belief. What shows are these people watching where they thought
that they'd get over screaming and growling like idiots?
3.) Ability to get criticized for ridiculous reasons while saying and
doing nothing about it - see below.
One thing that really stood out on this show is that the viewing audience got to see Tazz show just what kind of a person he really is- an insecure, pathetic coward who got angry over a friggin' PROMO done by one of the contestants. Does Tazz know that the business is predetermined, scripted, and choreographed? What world is he living in?
It's really interesting to see Tazz act like this, when he spent most of his first year in the WWF as the butt of countless jokes in the locker room and in front of everyone (remember Terri's orange dress?). I'm sure guys like Bradshaw, Undertaker, Chaz, or D-Lo Brown never had to stifle a laugh (like Danny the contestant did) as they saw Tazz waddle over and get in their face about something they did or said.
It's also really interesting to see "Big", who appears to have earned his incredibly well thought out and original nickname based on the size of his stomach, perpetuate and encourage this kind of behavior by insisting Danny be placed in the final 25. Wasn't "Big" the same goof who told the cast of last year's show to respect his house and who kept putting over the WWF as a big family and a place where you earn your keep through hard work? What's he putting over here? That being a "Big" bully by egging on an enraged midget is the WWF way?
While that was all really interesting, it was really sad and shameful to see Danny on that 3 mile run sit there and take this ridiculous, unnecessary, and totally unwarranted abuse because he actually cut a good promo and got the attention of the judges. His "reward" was nationwide humiliation as he struggled on a 3 mile run with about 30 pounds on his back while he listened to schoolyard taunts by Tazz, who really looked Tough Enough cruising on the back of a truck and most likely couldn't do a 3 mile run if he was on roller skates.
The ultimate in degradation came from Tazz, desperate to regain "heat" after he was correctly summed up by Danny as not being what he used to be- AKA a has been whose tenure in the WWF has shown him to be out of his league as seen by his limited movesets, pudgy physique, and being a foot shorter than 75% of the roster (90% if you exclude the women). Paul Heyman might have pushed him to be the badass he thinks he is, but this isn't ECW anymore.
Tazz, feeling a stupid need to "save face", prodded and manipulated this poor, stupid kid into saying he was sorry. Or in his case, "Sorry, sir". How pathetic. I don't know what's worse in this situation...Tazz acting like an overstuffed wannabe bully, or this kid actually apologizing about this ridiculous situation.
If the WWF were smart, and seeing that Stephanie McMahon is still on TV, they're not, they'd just sign Matthew, the 6' 10" 330 lb guy and tell the others to go back home to their basements and wish they were on TV. And they'd send Tazz with them.
----
Jim has been watching
wrestling for over 20 years and has followed and reported on indy wrestling
for over 6 years. He's also a fan of the New York Giants, New York Yankees,
St. John's Red Storm basketball, Alabama Crimson Tide football, and the
New Jersey Devils, but please don't hold that against him.
Contact Jim at BilJim2@aol.com
