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What a Cop Out
The past few weeks
of indy wrestling have presented some of the worst ways
to end a show or a match in recent memory. Ideally, the end of a show
or
match either builds to the next show or match or sends the fans home happy.
Reading some of the show results, and especially seeing the Major League
Wrestling show in person, it looks like no one's building, or more
important, caring.
It's been over three
weeks, but the taste left in the mouths of anyone who
attended MLW's debut show at the (former) ECW Arena on June 15th still
remains. For anyone lucky enough not to have seen it, or who were smart
and left as soon as the bell rang, they missed the MLW title tournament
end
with Shane Douglas doing an entire minute's worth of "work"
and running in
on the Vampiro-Taiyo Kea match, making it a Three Way Dance. Gotta love
on-the-spot booking, which makes a casual fan wonder what Vamp and Kea
are
smoking if they're OK with someone just running to the ring to wrestle
them
after they've just gone 20 minutes.
Anyway, Douglas manages
to win the belt, wisely not strapping it on and
risking it strain on his gut, then cuts yet another of his by the book
"bitter" promos. Shane Douglas has to be the whiniest person
in the
history of the wrestling business, even if he only believes a fifth of
the
nonsense he spouts on the mic. Apparently the entire business is out to
get him, most notably the evil bastards who did the dastardly deed of
hiring him and paying him money, like Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Eric
Bischoff. But Shane added a new twist on his rant for 2002, this time
including Paul Heyman, who gave Shane Douglas a career on a silver platter
after his stellar reign in WCW as part of the fey Dynamic Dudes. Shane
Douglas not only burns bridges, he blows them up while he's on them.
At the MLW show, before
his match with Steve Corino, they exchanged mic work and Corino smartly
pointed out that Douglas was whining like a baby but had no problem cashing
those Time Warner checks after WCW folded. So much for that rebel attitude.
It's tough to gain sympathy talking about how you got F'ed over in the
business while you're sitting on your fat ass living off the proceeds
of a company you helped run into the ground.
Sadly, Shane
won that match and was booked to win the title at the debut show of a
new fed running shows at the place where Douglas worked the most d made
the most money.
Apparently, the irony was lost on Shane Douglas, as he ripped into Paul Heyman while congratulating himself for winning/being booked to win a professional wrestling title. But, shades of 1994, Douglas wasn't done. He proceeded, as he did with the NWA title, to "throw the belt down" and refused to accept the win. Great way to put the company over, guys- make the guy you book to win the title refuse to take it.
But that's not all,
folks. Referee John Finnegan then got involved and
told Douglas that he HAD to defend the title and couldn't just "throw
it
down" like he did in 1994. Heads turned to the entranceway, assuming
that
someone would step up to the plate and demand an impromptu match, or even
just ask for a match at the next show. Alas, it was not to be, as the
700
people filing out of the Arena saw Shane Douglas shuffle from one side
of
the ring to the other with a stupid, confused look on his face as no one
would take the belt from him.
Getting beyond the
ridiculousness of "forcing" someone to defend a title
(will the officials drag Shane out of bed to the ring?), it was nice to
see
the former "Franchise" once again put himself over at a promotion's
expense, as Shane Douglas goes farther and farther down the ladder (and
missing the whole point of this column). Somewhere, Shawn Michaels, Vince
McMahon, Eric Bischoff, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, and Jim Ross are all
laughing. And MLW ends a great night of wrestling with nothing built for
their next show and a pudgy egomaniac as their representative to the world
of wrestling.
Unfortunately, it
looks like this finish appealed to more than the MLW
bookers, as your favorite carnys-in-charge at All "Pro" Wrestling
ended
their last practice show in their converted garage with not one, but TWO
fat guys staring at each other. No punches thrown, no one slammed into
or
through a table, nothing. Just two guys in the ring for a weigh in. For
a
professional wrestling match.
....
Who the blue fuck
cares what the wrestlers weigh in a wrestling match? Of
all the promotional elements to use from actual athletic events, Rolo
the
APW Carny chooses this? And to have nothing happen? Who does this
benefit? The wrestlers, who look like total pussies that one moment "hate"
each other in the storyline but don't bother to act on it when they're
staring at each other in the middle of a ring? The fans, who go to shows
expecting to see people wrestle at the end of the show, not get part of
a
physical? The promotion, which is on its last legs to begin with, hasn't
had a person buy a ticket to see a show in over nine months, and expects
people to get excited about a match and care what the unathletic looking
competitors weigh?
Not to be outdone,
APW runs a "don't pay to see us wrestle" show, aka a
sold show at a fair, and hyped in their usual overblown way a hair vs.
mask
match between Jardi "formerly Beel Jim" Frantz and Super Dragon.
The end
result? Rolo rips off another Global Wrestling angle. The first one was
the "mystery buyer" horseshit used by Joe Pedicino, claiming
Olu Olyami was
buying the fed, but Rolo wasn't creative enough to even come up with a
fake
name for APW's "interested" buyer(s). This time Rolo stole the
"mask under
a mask" angle from the Dark Patriot, as Super Dragon lost, had his
mask
taken off, only to reveal another mask underneath. Nice way to send the
fair folks home happy- well, they did have a midgets match as the main
event. Carny at its finest.
What in the world
could have possibly prevented an actual finish to this
match? Is Jardi Frantz now vetoing finishes, being the "veteran"
that he
is? Can he not live with a buzz cut for a few weeks? Or, most likely,
does Rolo not give a shit about the people who pay to see matches? Er,
wait, check that- no one's paying to see APW anymore. Any poor soul who
got off the Tilt a Whirl and watched this chickenshit booking most likely
won't be interested in coming back. And there aren't enough loyal APW
fans
(read: stooges) around to keep APW afloat.
In most circles they
call this the Dusty Finish, named after Dusty Rhodes
who, single-handedly, nearly ran WCW out of business back in the 1980s
with
his horrific booking and refusal to stick to stipulations in matches.
Other than the offensive girth, Rolo's got nothing on Dusty, so maybe
this
is his most sincere form of flattery, as he tries his damnedest to kill
off
his own promotion.
No promotion, from
the WWE on down to the lowest rung of the wrestling
ladder, like APW, has any business booking matches or finishes that drive
away business.
----
Jim has been watching
wrestling for over 20 years and has followed and reported on indy wrestling
for over 6 years. He's also a fan of the New York Giants, New York Yankees,
St. John's Red Storm basketball, Alabama Crimson Tide football, and the
New Jersey Devils, but please don't hold that against him.
Contact Jim at BilJim2@aol.com
----
Previous Columns:
Watching Tazz is Tough Enough
Seven in Two
Getting Your Moneys Worth
How Not to Run and Indy
If That's What it Takes, They Don't Have It!
Customer Service in the Wrestling Business
Consider the Source
How Much Would You Pay?
Living Off The Past
Enough
Already
---
The comments and statements do not necessarily reflect the opinions of
Brett Schwan and the Wrestling Clothesline (although many times, he comes
damn close!)
